Growing up, I absolutely hated everything about my curly hair. I hated how easily it tangled. I hated how much maintenance it required. I hated how my family called it a “lion’s mane.” I hated every school photo with my messy, frizzy hair. I hated having to braid my hair every night because I didn’t know anyone who could help me take care of my hair. No matter how many people told me they wished they had my hair, I refused to believe them. I didn’t believe that anyone could ever want to deal with having curly hair.
When I started middle school, I began straightening my hair every day. I would still put my hair in a braid every night, but that was only so it was easier to straighten. I would wake up at 6 a.m. every morning to straighten my hair, sitting on my bathroom counter with my mom’s straightener until there wasn’t a single curl in sight. Then, I would go to school and pray to God that nobody noticed my natural hair wasn’t straight or that my hair wouldn’t frizz due to the humidity. I continued straightening my hair all the way through high school. Sometimes I would braid my hair the night before school and just go with wavy hair, but even that was a rare occurrence for me. As long as it wasn’t considered curly, I didn’t care. I had grown to hate my curly hair so much that seeing any curl in my hair made me feel such disgust and hatred for myself.
Before coming to college, I decided I was going to start taking care of my hair. I wanted a fresh slate; I wanted to become a new, healthier me. I’d realized that I had irrevocably damaged my hair by practically frying it every morning with the straightener. My hair had grown thinner and frizzier, a consequence I hadn’t really considered. My hair started falling out every time I brushed it or even just ran my fingers through it. The damage was so bad that my hairstylist would comb my hair and show me how much had fallen out (it was probably a combination of stress and heat damage, but mostly the latter). I decided then that I would try to embrace my curly hair and learn how to maintain it.
My journey with learning how to properly take care of my hair truly started with me putting an end to using a straightener. It was a simple start, but an effective one. Within the span of last semester, I found that just cutting out my straightener had already made my hair healthier. Even when I did use heat on my hair, I made sure to use a heat protectant spray so I wouldn’t completely damage my hair again. After a while, I noticed that my hair wasn’t falling out as often. Granted, it was still quite frizzy, but that was something I was willing to deal with.
When my hair started showing signs that it was growing healthier again, I decided to start trying to learn how to style my curly hair. And TBH, the whole journey was quite frustrating to deal with. I tried watching TikToks to see if I could find a curly hair routine that I liked. A lot of the tutorials I found were long and tedious, but that’s something I’ve learned comes with having curly hair: it’s not going to be as easy as just brushing it like you can with straight hair. I grew frustrated watching TikTok after TikTok about what I needed to buy for my curly hair to look nice. There was just so much I would have to purchase to maintain my hair, and it was killing me.
Eventually, I went to the store with my parents and bought some products to see if they would help. I’d heard that Not Your Mother’s products were quite good (and that they were affordable!), so I decided to get their curl cream, mousse, and curl gel to style my curly hair. Additionally, I invested in a diffuser since TikTok said I would end up needing one. Once I had my products, I started learning how to style my hair by following routines on TikTok. At first, it was a very trying and exhausting process. I just couldn’t get my curls to look good. So, I tried using less of one product and more of another. When that didn’t work, I tried removing a product from my routine altogether. I even got a bonnet and started doing the pineapple method while I slept. It took me a while to get my curly hair routine down, but when I did, it was definitely worth all the hassle.
Now that I’ve been practicing and perfecting my curly hair routine for a few months, I can confidently say that I enjoy seeing my curly hair more often. Sure, it can be tedious to have such a long routine just to make your hair look presentable, but the end result makes it much better. I look back on my journey with my hair quite often and am happy with how far I’ve come. I’m no longer the girl who looked in the mirror with hatred for her natural hair. I’m no longer the girl who would beg her mom to straighten her hair so she would look nice for school. I’m no longer the girl who thought she was uglier because her hair wasn’t straight. I’ve learned to embrace the curls I was born with and I’ve never been happier with a decision in my life.