Talk to strangers
Okay, we know that you have probably been explicitly told NOT to do this one but hear us out. Think of it like being on the playground when you were a kid and not knowing anyone there. Despite arriving alone, you rarely ever had to play alone. Why did we have the confidence approach people back then and where did it go? College is a lot like a playground: we are surrounded by people in our age bracket all here for the same reason with the hope of making some friends along the way. The reason our social approach is so different now is because since being playground age, we have likely faced a lot of rejection, causing hesitation when it comes to meeting new people. Step one to healing your inner child involves ignoring this hesitation and letting ourselves be a little vulnerable in order to establish new relationships. Remember that most college students are all in the same boat, we’re in a new environment and we may not know too many people here. Talking to someone new on campus might just give that person the confidence boost they have been fiending for.
actions and re-actions
Have you ever seen a baby fall down and then look to mom or dad to justify their response? If mom or dad gasps and rushes to attend the baby, the baby will likely cry. However, if mom or dad laughs, takes their time tending to the baby, and tells them that they are ok, the baby will likely brush it off and move on. As adults, when we are met with conflict, the way we immediately respond to a situation sets the tone for the effects that take place following the situation. If you find yourself falling down and you immediately result to anger, frustration, or even crying, chances are it will be much harder to pick yourself back up. Next time you find yourself falling, try putting a positive spin on it, maybe even laugh at the situation a little. It is much easier to calm down if you never got significantly worked up in the first place.
play dress up
Remember when fashion was about wearing what YOU wanted to wear, rather than wearing what is trending? Colors didn’t have to match, patterns didn’t have to be simple, and accessories could have been anything from a tiara to mis-matched knee-high socks. As we got older, dressing became less of a way to express yourself and more of a way to fit in. I remember in middle and high school I would buy clothes just because I saw other people wearing. When I would wear theses clothes, I felt anxious and self-conscious that these clothes didn’t look as good as they did on everyone else. They probably didn’t. After all it isn’t the clothes that make an outfit, it’s the confidence. You could be wearing the goofiest little getup and so long as you feel comfortable in it, everyone else will see how beautiful you look and feel. That is not to say that you should go out and buy the silliest costume you can find and where it to school, nor should you throw out any trendy clothes in your closet that you like. All I want is for you to start wearing the clothes you love, no matter what the weather is, no matter what other people are wearing, and ESPECIALLY no matter what other people think of it.
Be unaplogetically blunt
If you can count on kids for one thing, it is their brutal honesty (don’t ask a toddler if you look bad in something unless you are fully emotionally prepared for a real response). As we grow up, we develop a conscious understanding of other people’s feelings and generally take action to preserve the feelings of others. This conscious understanding can be helpful in maintaining relationships. In fact, white lies are extremely common in healthy relationships. At the same time, however, this conscious understanding can be harmful when preserving the feelings of others stands in the way of obtaining your own goals. Every single one of us has been in a situation where they needed to confront or address someone about a particular issue, but you end up sugarcoating the issue so much that your path forward doesn’t get taken seriously by the people involved. Next time you find yourself talking to a teacher about who you don’t understand an assignment, a manager about how your workload isn’t manageable, a friend about the way they treat you, or whatever your issue may be, revert back to your toddler like instincts and say what is on your mind without thinking too hard about how your feelings will make other people feel. If you are a less confrontational person, trying an “I-feel” statement is a great way to get your honest point across without making others feel attacked.
Try something new
Think back to the dreams you had as a little kid, it could be something as simple as wanting to be a writer when you grow up, or it could be something as far-fetched as wanting to be a princess. One of the most unfortunate myths that surround young adults is that it is too late in life for them to try something new. This could not be further from the truth, in fact there has never been a better time to try new things than now! Here at JMU, there are over 400 organizations to explore, most of which are free for students to join. That sport that you always wanted to play but never had time for? Look into joining one of our 44 university recreation clubs! Have a passion for music? There are opportunities to play nearly any instrument in one of our school’s music clubs! Want to make the world a better place? Our school also offers a multitude of volunteer opportunities! If your dream as a kid was to be a princess, don’t put that dream on hold! JMU’s “A Moment of Magic” is a club for anyone interested in dressing up as a Disney Princess for underserved children!