Confidence is the main part of developing self-love, and by confidence, I mean loving every part of yourself. Not just the “perfection,” but loving the imperfections that make an individual genuinely unique and like no other. With the rise of social media and platforms like Instagram, there has been a constant craving for the idea of “picture perfect” that brings insecurity and causes others to look at unrealistic images wanting to change themselves to become someone they’re not.
Loving oneself is a process that involves shedding the stigma of “perfect” and being able to embrace what makes one unique and different from others in the newfound media-driven world. There are many methods for raising self-confidence, although, from personal experience, the one routine that makes me feel the most empowered is the outfit I create and wear. Fashion, to me, is an art. The act of creating artistic attire helps me express who I am as an individual while feeling comfortable in my own skin, ready to take on the world, one wardrobe at a time.
- DRESS COMFORTABLE BUT EMBRACE GETTING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
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A “comfortable” outfit for individuals may consist of either a dressed-up or a dressed-down outfit. It entails the style that makes one feel the most secure and ready to take on the day with a positive attitude.
One valuable tip I want to share is that you should never leave the house wearing something you feel utterly uncomfortable in because your internal feelings from that discomfort can project onto your outside demeanor. It is better to put comfort first and embrace the confidence and radiance hidden within that is waiting to shine externally.
- THROW THE “FLATTERING RULE” OUT OF THE WINDOW
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Society and social media love to tell us what to wear and not to wear based on what “flatters” our body type, body weight, skin color, hair color, etc. This stigma has been convoluted by broken societal views, but it is valuable to remember that these “rules” are merely opinion-based and can easily be ignored. If someone tells you what you are wearing does not flatter you, ignore them. It is not your job to wear something that makes you look like whatever is considered “ideal,” as there is no such a thing.
Wear whatever you like. And let’s all stop using the word “flattering,” okay? In my eyes, the only opinion that matters is the person who is choosing their outfit. Not the outside world that may or may not even take a glance at it. If you feel confident in your clothes, you do not need any rule book to decide whether or not you are worthy enough to wear them.
- always accessorize
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Sometimes an outfit may seem incomplete, and the icing on the cake is always the accessories. It may be a colorful belt or matching earrings, necklaces, or a purse. Search through your closet to find accessories you own that will make your look feel complete, and start to wear them daily as accessories truly have the power to accentuate an outfit.
There is a trick called the “Plus-3 Rule,” which is a great starting point when looking for inspiration for accessorizing. The Plus-3 Rule “focuses only on the statement-making additions (accessories, shoes, and layers) that take your outfit to a whole new level.” For more information, visit InStyle to see how individuals use this accessorizing hack.
- add some matching shoes
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This is probably my favorite and most used tip. I feel most complete when my outfit perfectly complements my shoes in color or in style and pattern. I have worked at Designer Shoe Warehouse Inc. since I was 16 and my biggest kryptonite used to be the number of shoes I would buy with my paycheck. When I purchase footwear, I try to find a unique pair in color and style, and I might purchase shoes outside of the current “trend” because this brings a unique addition to a wardrobe that stands out.
I probably have over 40 pairs of unnecessary shoes in my closet at home, but at least I have a pair in every color of the rainbow to match my overflowing closet. Next time you are picking out an outfit, the easiest way to feel put together is grabbing those colorful shoes that you haven’t worn in a while from your closet and showing them some love.
- TURN SELF-CONSCIOUS INTO “SHELF-CONFIDENCE”
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This might be the most difficult tip someone can do, but if taken can be life-changing. Imagine yourself having absolutely no insecurities; what would you wear? Now take that item off the shelf and put it on, then look in the mirror, and embrace the body that was gifted to you. Grant yourself the gift of being able to wear what you have always desired because the only person stopping you is yourself.
Practice looking in the mirror in your new wardrobe and give yourself a genuine compliment. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the only thing you need to do to pull off a look is to wear it. Do what you love, and your confidence will catch up eventually.” Next time you get dressed, take five seconds out of your day to look into the mirror and repeat affirmations such as “I radiate confidence in this outfit” to achieve the confidence level you have always desired.
Wear what you want. You only have one life, and the people around you spend half the time looking at themselves instead of worrying about you. This is called the spotlight effect, people are much more worried about their own life and insecurities than yours. Nevertheless, when we’re focused on something about ourselves, we often assume that everyone else is focused on it, too, even though no one cares as much as you do. So be authentically you because you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.
My challenge for you today is to begin your journey of self-love. I want you to learn to love yourself so much that when you look in the mirror, your pupils enlarge. Embrace that impeccable fit and show off that self-love.