Everybody has that one friend who they can always count on, the “rock” of the group. The one who always remains positive. When everybody else’s lives seem to be falling apart, they seem to have it all together. That friend will be there at 4am if you need them; some how, some way they will make it happen. If you are thinking to yourself right now who that friend is out of your friend group; it is a good chance that it is yourself. Nothing is wrong with being the strong friend, but never forget about your own problems that you have to deal with. Remember, self-care and your happiness should always remain first.
(Photo by Jared Rice)
Being the “strong friend” of course feels good, but it is also certainly an exhausting obligations at times. It pays in the form of friendships and close relationships but feeling overwhelmed is also a part of the paycheck. If you are somebody with a good heart, of course you want to help others out with their problems. But, always keep in the back of your mind that some people enjoy being in pits. Meaning that they do not see anything wrong with complaining all day, bringing their problems to other people and not making any changes in their life. Therefore, yes it is okay to reach and help somebody in a pit, but do not fall in it right along with them.
If you are not the strong friend, think of who is in your friend group. Take a second to think; who do they have to turn to when they are down and sad? Who lifts them up? Who motivates the motivator? Remember, always check up on your strong friend, too. They may not be completely comfortable telling you everything they are dealing with just because they know how draining listening to other’s problems can be, but it never hurts to ask. A simple, “how are you doing,” or “what is on your mind?” can go a long way.
(Photo by Shamim Nakhai)