At the moment, this can seem like the hardest thing to do. You get over how poorly they treated you and you make excuses for them because you still want them in your life. I hate to say this, but they do not want you in theirs. If they valued you even a little bit, they would not put themselves in a position to lose you. If they cared about you, the way you care about them, they would not jeopardize your relationship. Sometimes we need a little tough love, so I am giving it to you. If you clicked on this, it is because you need to read it. Let them go, sis. They are not good for you. The relationship ended for a reason. Let it be. I used to think about all the things you probably do.
“It will be different this time.” “They really love me, they just have a hard time showing it.” “They are not controlling, just insecure. They have been hurt before.” “They do not mean to hurt me, they just need someone to stay.” No. No. NO. They stick around because you let them. They hurt you because you let them. Do not give me that, “No I do not.” BS. Yes, you do. If you do not leave them, and stay gone, you let them believe they can treat you however they want to and you will still be there. That is not loyalty. That is not ride or die. That is you giving too much of yourself to someone who will never reciprocate. It is time to let it go. You have no obligation to someone who does not give you the same energy. Contrary to what we are told when we are younger when a boy is mean to you it does not mean he likes you. It means he is mean. Same way with girls. It just makes them mean. You do not deserve that, and I know you have been told this countless times but that is a larger scream for you to listen. You deserve better. You deserve to be treated the way you treat. Goldenly. Walking away, staying away, does not make you a bad person. It does not make you selfish. They will be fine. They will try to manipulate you into staying so they can continue to use you as a safety net, let it go. Know your worth and stick to it. No one can treat you poorly without your permission. At some point, you have to stop giving so many chances. You have to accept that they do not care for you as they should, and you need to move in.
Just like a rainbow comes after the rain, you will find someone better after this person who cannot grow up. I know how hard it is to let go and move on when you have put so much time and love into someone. But at some point, you have to put yourself first. Quit letting the past drain you. You are vibrant, stop dimming yourself so you do not sunburn these people who take you for granted.