Now, I know what you’re thinking: This girl is going to tell me I need to be more confident and yap about embracing my inner beauty—SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME! Well, kind of… but hear me out. Beauty is an arbitrary idea, while confidence is a muscle you can build. Ultimately, strengthening that muscle transforms you into a more beautiful version of yourself.
You see, confidence is a learnable skill. It’s defined by your audacity to pursue your desires and your willingness to try things despite inexperience. What if you do get what you want? There’s always that possibility.
Beauty, on the other hand, is a concept. Google defines it as “a combination of qualities that please the aesthetic senses.” Since beauty is subjective, it manifests in many ways, hence the saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, beauty standards exist as a counterpoint. Beauty standards are constantly changing. The Y2K era idealized a slim figure, but in the 2010s, curvier bodies became the trend.
If your goal is confidence, chasing trends won’t help—by the time you reach the standard, it may have changed. Instead, by building confidence, you set a beauty standard unique to yourself. Here’s how:
1. Identify Your Desires
Who is your dream self? What does she spend her time doing? Brainstorm these two areas and understand what the life that you want to create looks like. A way to understand your desires is to analyze your jealousy. Who or what makes you envious? Jealousy often signals what we secretly desire, so if someone irritates you for no logical reason, ask yourself why. Perhaps they possess a quality you admire but haven’t developed yet. Recognizing these desires helps you set meaningful goals towards your ideal future self.
2. Attainable Goal-Setting
Confidence comes from trusting yourself, which grows by setting and achieving goals. The key is making them realistic. Consistency matters more than short-lived bursts of productivity. For example, if you’re new to working out, aiming for three gym sessions a week is more sustainable than forcing yourself to go daily. This gradual approach allows your body and mind to adjust, fostering long-term growth.
3. Listen to Your Body
When forming new habits, self-compassion is crucial. If you feel exhausted or mentally drained, pause and assess what’s overloading you. True confidence includes self-care and prioritizing your well-being. This doesn’t mean abandoning your goals but rather allowing occasional breaks to recharge before resuming your journey. For example, if you encounter a day when you feel completely out of it, then let yourself relax for that day, and then get back on your grind the next. Taking breaks is okay as long as you’re sticking to your objectives and following through in the long run.
Building confidence is a process, but it’s a rewarding one. Over time, you’ll discover that confidence doesn’t just create beauty—it is beauty. And I’m confident that, on this journey, you’ll come to see it too.