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the struggle of not knowing what you want to do with your life

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois State chapter.

At a very young age, we were always asked what we want to be when we’re older, not who we want to be. Our careers take precedent over who we are as people, resulting in a lot of pressure to pick a job that we are not only passionate about but something we are good enough at to earn an income from it. The older I get, the more difficult it is for me to know exactly what I want to do with my life, and I wish more people talked about it.

I am not even a senior year yet and I can already hear the post-grad questions looming, the aunts and uncles asking, “so what are your plans after college?” There is nothing wrong in asking this, just be prepared for not everyone to know. Life is so unpredictable, so this expectation of knowing exactly what we want to do at such an early point in our lives is simply not realistic. The way society has placed so much significance on making money, we have normalized having multiple jobs, a side hustle, etc. In today’s world, if you can’t make money off of it, you shouldn’t be doing it. The reality is not everyone is good enough at everything they do to make a profit off of it and that is completely fine, unfortunately, we live in a society where if you’re not being productive from morning to night you are considered lazy. 

I have always been someone that has envisioned my future a certain way, but as I’ve gotten older that vision becomes a little less clear, I know where I want to be geographically, but I’m still not sure exactly what I want to be doing or what I should be doing. I would like to believe we all have a purpose in life, maybe that’s a very naive ideology, but everyone’s purpose is to simply experience life, thus just by living, we are fulfilling that prophecy. There is no definite way to conquer life, thus there is no way to do it wrong. I try to remind myself of this whenever I doubt what I am capable of, because of my experiences I know I can take whatever the universe throws my way.

I am always working towards being the best possible version of myself, and that is founded on doing things that make me happy regardless if I make money from it. This relates to the idea of a dream job, I’ve gone through many ideas of what my dream job would like throughout my life, but currently, my dreams aren’t associated with working. I think there are a lot more interesting aspects about a person than how they make their money, yet that is such a huge part of our identities. I love the idea of being able to profit off of doing something I love and I know I will get there one day, I just am not sure what that will be yet. 

I never have felt worse about myself than when I have compared my life to others. It was the worst in high school, I looked at the people I went to school with who seemingly were good at everything they did, making me doubt myself on a daily basis. I would have to remind myself that I don’t know everything they’ve been through just like they didn’t know what I’ve been through. In addition to that, this goes along with the idea that just because someone lives comfortably they are happy. While someone may never have to struggle financially, that doesn’t mean they don’t struggle in other aspects of their life. Being able to understand that while money would solve a lot of my problems, it won’t solve everything. I feel blessed every day knowing I have amazing friends and family who provide endless support to feel content in life. I’ve learned that no amount of money in the world could replace the people in my life, consequently, I don’t let the pressure of making money scare me. 

I am optimistic about my future, regardless of how unclear it currently is because I know no matter what I end up doing my friends and family will be there cheering me on which is a privilege in itself. The money will come and go, but time will not so choose to spend the short time we have on this earth doing what makes you happy with the people you love.

 

Thanks for reading, V

 

Hi, I'm Vanesa! I am currently a Communication major at Illinois State University. I'm so thrilled to be a part of the HerCampus team because writing has always been a huge passion for me and now I have an opportunity to showcase that and grow as a writer. Besides writing, I love horror movies, dramatic tv shows, and iced coffee. I hope you enjoy my articles as much as I enjoy writing them so stay tuned for more! xoxo, V
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