How can you determine whether your relationships are interpersonal or casual? As a communication major, I am in a lot of communication classes, obviously. I study communication in every form, skill, and setting, as well as how we use it. A communication class I am currently taking is about interpersonal communication. What I have learned so far has made me think about my own relationships and how I can define them. This sparked inspiration and made me wonder if others have categorized their relationships as interpersonal or casual. If you don’t know the difference, hopefully this article can help you better understand your relationships and how you define them moving forward.
Understanding Interpersonal Relationships
According to the textbook we use in my interpersonal communication class, interpersonal communication is defined as “humans’ social and symbolic process of creating and negotiating meanings, identity, and relationships” (Graham).
Interpersonal relationships require shared communication that influences both parties. Not every relationship or interaction you have is interpersonal, and some that you might assume are, actually aren’t. A tricky example of this is a therapist meeting with a client. You might think this is interpersonal, but it is not. It is actually considered role communication, which refers to interactions based on social roles and expectations that satisfy a task. This is not considered interpersonal because only one person is sharing their emotions while the other is not, making the interaction one-sided.
Interpersonal relationships can be created easily, or a simple relationship can be shifted into an interpersonal one by sharing understanding and personal influence through more meaningful interactions.
Understanding Casual Relationships
Something I have noticed in my own life and in my friends’ lives is that some relationships we think are interpersonal are actually just casual. I think this is very common today. People find themselves in relationships they don’t know how to label, and some relationships fall somewhere between interpersonal and casual.
By knowing the difference between interpersonal and casual relationships, forming and understanding these relationships should become easier and less confusing. This concept is definitely something to think about. Looking into your own personal relationships and seeing which traits fall under each category can be a very eye-opening and interesting process.
A casual relationship can be described as low-commitment, unserious, flexible, and having few or no expectations. Casual relationships can exist between friends, family members, or people who are seeing each other romantically. You can characterize any relationship as casual if the emotional depth is not there and it does not take much energy to maintain the relationship or friendship. Casual relationships are everywhere, and I believe everyone has at least a few relationships they could classify as casual.
If the only two options to label every relationship in your life were casual or interpersonal, I think many people would realize they are connected to more casual relationships than they thought. Casual does not have to be seen as a “bad” thing, because some relationships need to stay casual in order to work. For example, think of a friend you see only once or a few times a month, but you check in occasionally, and when you do see them, nothing feels awkward. The relationship feels normal and doesn’t require a lot of energy or upkeep. That would be considered a casual relationship.
The word “casual” gets thrown around a lot or used as a trend, especially because many romantic relationships are considered casual. Where people get confused is when romantic relationships take on certain qualities of interpersonal relationships, making them feel more personal than they actually are. Sometimes, someone in a casual relationship will do or say things that feel deep and personal, and then go back to acting casual, which can be confusing for the other person. I think that’s where many people get lost—when something defined as casual dips in and out of feeling interpersonal, it becomes hard to know how to label the relationship.
Relationships as Interpersonal or Casual
Now that we’ve broken down what interpersonal and casual relationships are, I want you to think about the relationships in your life and try to categorize them. Many people are not aware of these communication concepts, and I think it is important to understand them so you don’t expect too much or too little from a relationship.
Interpersonal relationships are deeper, more connected, and more unique. If a relationship is considered interpersonal, it will have these three qualities and requires both people to understand and influence each other. If a relationship is considered casual, it is usually unserious, low-energy, and has few or no expectations, which is why it is easy to maintain.
I believe knowing the difference between casual and interpersonal relationships can help you better understand your connections with others and what to expect from certain relationships. Some relationships we find ourselves in can be confusing, and this framework offers an easier guide for how to keep the relationship going and how to put your best foot forward. Knowing the difference can also help you build healthier future relationships based on what you want and need.
Now, with what you’ve learned from this article, you can reflect on your personal relationships and apply these communication concepts to guide how you interact and communicate with others moving forward. These concepts can be tricky to sort through in some relationships, but knowing the foundation of interpersonal vs. casual can help tremendously.