Breakups are not fun no matter how you look at it. Every relationship is different. There is always at least one instance where you will look back on the relationship for whatever reason and a small pang of sadness will creep in. That’s okay! Everyone handles breakups differently, but here are a few surefire ways to get over a breakup as fast as possible.
Delete their number or hide alerts. This is the first and hardest step when breaking up with someone. It is hard to go from talking to someone every day to not at all. But the more proactive you are about moving on and not letting the negativity of the past relationship find its way back into your mind, the more it will help you move away from the person. It will also prevent embarrassing phone calls at weak moments. Don’t sit and stare at the phone.
Block them on social media. This is also tough. However, if you are playing on your phone and you keep seeing your ex’s face and status repetitively, it will just hurt your heart over and over again. Keep in mind that since you two aren’t in a relationship anymore you both have the freedom to move on at your own pace, hang out with who you choose, do whatever you want, and eventually date whoever you want (God forbid they find someone else before you do). All of this information can be shared on social media and could possibly hurt your heart because you aren’t with them for any of it. Don’t let yourself wallow in their life choices.
Take your time and know the timeline of your breakup. Time is the ultimate healing tool. As you move forward after your relationship is over, take your time so you heal each part of yourself correctly. You can take this time to reflect and learn about yourself. Don’t bottle up all of your emotions and leave them to deal with when you are at a low point. Remember that the first day is hardest, the second day is better and the third day is the worst because you think you have your footing but you are still fresh off the breakup and you are most likely to slip up. But once you don’t, every day after gets easier and easier.
Talk about it. Let that emotion out by talking yourself out of the relationship. It helps! Sometimes we need a little bit more convincing, so what is better than hearing your own voice telling you what to do? You trust your voice right? It’s also beneficial to talk about your breakup to friends and family to find comfort and advice from those who love you. Talk about what you did not like about the relationship. Talk about your strengths and what you have to offer. Talk about what they missed out on. Talk about what you want in the future. Talk about what you deserve. Talk about how you see yourself five years from now. They probably won’t be in that vision anyway ;)
Take your own advice. Take your situation and look at it from an outside perspective. What would you tell a friend in your position to do? Do you think that your friend would be better off with a different strategy? Listen to what you would tell others to do when you are feeling lost. Again, you trust yourself.
Do not get on Tinder. Getting on Tinder is not a very good idea right after a breakup. The heart is still healing and trying to latch onto whatever it can to fill the void. It is scientifically proven that women do in fact think with their hearts while guys think with their d*cks. You could end up in a bad situation that you are not ready for whether it’s a hookup or a date. The phrase “the best way to get over somebody is to get under someone else,” is very much false. Try not to bring anyone else into the break up except for you and your ex. By immediately coming into contact with someone else, it just adds fuel to the fire.
However…..
Tinder is dangerous territory. But, if used correctly, could be a great way to boost your self-confidence. Re-do your whole profile by adding some fun pictures that make you feel good about yourself and add a cute bio. Next, take control of your dating life! You are the one who gets to decide to swipe left or right. Remember what you want and what you are looking for. You don’t even need to talk to your matches. But, sometimes it’s nice to see what they would use as an opening liner. They did swipe right on you too after all. Let them tell you why! We all deserve a “Hello beautiful,” message every once in a while.
Don’t fall for the plea. Your ex could come calling at any time after the breakup. Whether it’s through drunk texting, social media, or just a simple phone call, if you want to get over the break up do not let them worm their way back into your life without their original title. Don’t fall for their tricks. They might try flirting in a new way, make you feel needed/wanted again, or remind you what it was like when you guys were on good terms. You broke up for a reason. There is no such thing as creating the past when it comes to relationships. Don’t get strung along when it isn’t worth your time.
Listen to your inner Elle Woods. Our favorite blonde lawyer is the best person to think of during a breakup. She got herself into law school to win her ex back. Then instead of quitting law school when he got engaged, she decided to become the best lawyer she could be. During all of that hard work to win back her ex, she found herself. She was able to buckle down and get sh*t done. By the end of the movie, she knew her ex was not worth her time. She proved she was smarter than most men. She embraced a whole side of herself and she never backed down from a challenge. Sure, her intentions were a bit off in the beginning of the movie but she proved herself wrong which can also be a huge driving force. Know that you are worth everything and more. You do not need anyone else but yourself.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t look at your friend’s relationships and compare it to yours. You will just end up feeling like a failure and possibly jealous of your friend. Know that your time will come and not every relationship is the same.
Delete your pictures. This is a hard one. Since you are trying to get over the past, getting rid of as much evidence of the relationship is best. Sure, keep a few pics from your favorite times but get rid of the photo shoot from the zoo that is taking up your entire camera roll.
Watch the movie How To Be Single! This movie is a huge lifesaver when you are going through a breakup. It really highlights what it means to be independent and how to love yourself. It’s also a great girl power movie that you and your roommates will just fawn over.
Go get your girls: Have as much girl time as possible! Your squad will make you feel some much better. Fight the want to stay in bed and isolate. Get with besties and let them work their bestie magic. Make sure they make you laugh until you cry. That’s what they are there for!
Forget romance. Stay away from rom-coms and love ballads. It is not worth your time to remind yourself of why you are sad. Search the internet for as many girl power songs as you can and take “For All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” off of your list. You don’t need that Valentine’s Day, couply stuff anyway. You have you and your awesomeness.
Love Yourself. It is hard to break up with someone that you love. You put your time into them and learned how to care for them specifically. If you find yourself still saying “I love him.” ” I love ex’s name.” Try replacing his name with yours. “I love me.” “I love your name.” Loving yourself is the most important part of being a human. Bring that love everywhere you go. You can’t love someone without loving yourself first. Know that you love you most. Know that your love for your ex will never be as strong as the love you can give yourself. You deserve the best and that’s you.
Remember what a break up is. Sometimes within the woes and sadness of a breakup, it is easy to get caught up in what can be fixed and if there is a second chance in the future. Remember what it means to break up with someone and why you broke up. It will help you pull yourself back into reality. Move forward so you can find your real endgame.
Breakups are hard to get through but don’t let yourself fall into the trap of being sad for longer than you need to be. Get healthy and happy! This is your time to be the best you, you can be!
Shine Bright <3