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Life

How to Scroll When Single

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Howard chapter.

As we are engulfed deeper into the mouth of all things “social,” it becomes easier to undermine one’s worth and capability of being loved by an idea that can be loosely defined as “relationship goals.” We may not even realize that we are doing this. As we comment, “I wish this were me” in playful undertones, there is a question we must raise within ourselves: How much truth does this comment hold? 

Seeing others happy around us in a time of self-reflection can feel like rubbing alcohol to a wound that’s still open, yet if we try our best to heal with or without social media by our side, scrolling while single isn’t as jarring as it seems. 

 

Take time to Heal and Reflect 

Breaking routines can be hard–especially when you’re used to taking sappy pictures with your significant other every five minutes. It’s imperative that after any break-up, we take time to heal and reflect on what did or didn’t go wrong, and what could be done differently the next go round. Creating space to be transparent and vulnerable with yourself helps  determine how long your journey of healing will be. It’ll be easier to scroll without feeling a burn every time you come across a trending couple. 

 

Remember that “All that Glitters isn’t Gold.”

You have to realize that you may not want everyone’s “situation.” There’s always more than what meets the eye–or the like on the pictures you see. You never really know how everyone is behind the screen, and you don’t know what trials and tribulations it took to get someone where they are today. Your life’s journey is your own, and the reason you aren’t where you feel you should be, is because you’re exactly where you need to be. So, before commenting #goals, remember that all that glitters isn’t gold and that some of the toughest stories are never told. 

 

Drown your timeline in all things “Self”

One of the best things about social media, is that we can filter out what we subject ourselves to. There’s never enough love to show yourself, whether that be following tons of “self-love” pages, single women who are on their grind, or some of your favorite things. You have the power on whether or not to drive down a puddle of tears, or bask in the shine of your spirit. It’s all about discipline, focus, and holding enough respect for yourself to say that you aren’t going to get “stuck” while scrolling. 

One of the most important parts of scrolling while single is to be genuinely happy for others, while realizing that you don’t have to want what others have to show them love. It’s about finding enough company in yourself, so you won’t have to long for the arms of others. Relationships with others can be a tough road to walk, yet, it’s something that we can either like or scroll past. The relationships we hold with ourselves is a continuous journey that we have to gradually accept to ensure our growth for the future. 

 

Ashley Tate

Howard '22

Ashley Tate attends Howard University and is a Journalism major from Birmingham, Alabama. She finds that most of her best writing comes from quiet coffee shops and within the confines of her room. In her free time, Ashley can be found writing poetry, catching up on a good book, or updating her blog (https://ashapplied.wixsite.com/ashapplied).