This past year has been an obstacle in itself. Coming into my freshman year at Howard University, I knew that getting involved and strengthening my resume would be hard, but it wasn’t until I had my first taste of college that I truly understood how difficult it could be. To be honest, my first year on campus was filled with plenty of “I regret to inform you…” or “Thank you for your time, but…” or just flat out “No’s.” That experience, however hard, pushed me to continue, regardless of fear of failure.
Rejection is difficult, but it is bound to happen and it’s much better to experience it earlier rather than later. So, as someone who has not only experienced it but also persevered through it, here are the steps I took to change my mindset when navigating a “no”!
Whether you secured an interview, or just submitted the application, a no from anywhere that you had your eyes set on hurts. Unfortunately, no one talks about how that can negatively affect your mental health. Before you allow yourself to get into a bad space, remember these three words:
- Breathe
- Reflect
- Reevaluate.
To move forward in a positive manner, it is imperative that you first breathe, meditate, or do whatever helps to calm you. If your first view of the situation is out of anger or hurt, it will be unnecessarily difficult to know how to proceed. Feel your emotions in the initial moment, but don’t allow them to consume you. Rather, allow them to drive you forward.
Next, reflect. Ask yourself, where was there room for improvement? Did you lack confidence in the interview? Were you prompt? Was your application error-free? Did you use the correct verb tense in your resume? If you can identify your problem areas early, it will save you a lot of tears later. Trust me. Self-awareness will take you far.
Now that you’ve breathed and reflected, what comes next? The answer is reevaluate. Self-awareness will take you far, but it won’t get you to your destination unless you’re putting in the work. For example, with each no I received, I lost confidence in my ability to secure an internship. My lack of confidence reflected in my interviews, and ultimately, it lost me numerous opportunities. Since I’ve identified my weakness, I have to compensate by preparing for interviews beforehand and working on my volume control, so that when I do have interviews I won’t sound unprepared or timid. This change, although seemingly small, has opened many new doors for me.
Remember, a “no” is never the end of the world. Don’t allow rejection to stop your progress or halt your path to success. Just because you were knocked down once or twice does not mean that you will not be able to achieve your dreams. More than likely, the opportunity meant for you is just around the corner. Be patient, learn, and grow.