With college comes a lot of pressure or feelings of pressure to go out every weekend, to drink every weekend, to drink a lot, to socialize a lot, to be on campus at all times, to make a lot of friends, to go to darties… you get the gist. In the past, I have conformed to the stereotypical college experience which is everything I just typed in the sentence before. I thought that college wouldn’t be college if I didn’t do these things, I also thought that I wouldn’t be a college student if I wasn’t doing these things, and I also thought that people would make fun of me or judge me for not being the party type. I felt a huge sense of pressure to do all of the things that I knew, deep down, I didn’t like or want to do. But, here’s the thing, after time and time again forcing myself to drink more than I would, to go out more than I would, to socialize or pretend to be more outgoing than I am, I ended up feeling mentally exhausted every single time. I learned that I was doing a disservice to myself because I was pretending to enjoy all of the things I don’t particularly enjoy doing. There’s a saying that extroverts gain energy and are happier when they are with others while introverts gain energy and are happier when they are alone. As an introverted college student who has conformed to the party scene, I know firsthand how much pretending to be the opposite can cause mental and physical drainage. I eventually got so tired of forcing myself to drink when I didn’t want to, go to parties when I didn’t want to, and socialize when I didn’t want to, which was and still is, the majority of the time. I’ve always been the kind of person who prefers to stay in than go out, prefers to not drink than to drink, prefers to watch a movie than go to a party, and prefers to be alone instead of with a crowd. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me because of that, but after years of figuring it out, I finally realized that I do enjoy all of those things but on my own terms. Those terms are what I call my quiet life.
A quiet life looks different for everyone, which is totally okay. Some people’s quiet life may be a little more busy and chaotic than other people’s quiet life. On the contrary, some people’s quiet life may look as quiet as quiet can get. I like to think of my quiet life as being in the middle of both. I do enjoy socializing but only to a certain degree. I do enjoy going out but only to a certain degree. I do enjoy drinking but only to a certain degree. My quiet life means doing things that I don’t particularly love but do in moderation, or on my own terms. My quiet life is doing all the things that make me the best version of myself, all of the things that bring me peace, comfort, and a feeling of steadiness. Outside of the party scene of college, the hustle culture of college and the academic pressures are surreal and can cause a mass amount of stress. I love living my quiet life, especially on the weekends away from the party scenes and away from school because it gives me a sense of recharge and reset, which then allows me to feel better prepared for the week ahead.
Now, I’ve explained to you what my quiet life sounds like but now I will tell you what my quiet life really consists of. My quiet life consists of going home on the weekends and being in my hometown. There is nothing that brings me more comfort and steadiness than going to my favorite restaurants, my favorite stores, sleeping in my own bed, showering in my own shower, and living in the comfort of my own home. I rarely ever go out, partially because I don’t have the energy to at the end of the week but because I love spending time alone. I love being in my bed, catching up on my favorite show, watching YouTube grwm’s, or a day in my life video, or falling into the trap of scrolling TikTok for hours on end. I love making a hot cup of tea and putting a warm blanket over me. Within the scope of partying on the weekends, and in comparison to others, I go to bed relatively early and I love it. I’m one of those girls that actually develops an illness from not sleeping long enough, and that can’t function properly if I haven’t slept enough. On the weekends, especially when I’m at my boyfriend’s (which is pretty much every weekend unless we’re at my house), I go to bed the latest at midnight. Although I hate mornings and am not a morning person at all, I love waking up with no hangover, no headache, no sleep deprivation, and no need to recover from the night before. My quiet life consists of rarely drinking, and when drinking, drinking a small amount. It also consists of preferring kickbacks and small get-togethers rather than parties or large gatherings. Of spending quality time with my closest friends at places like bonfires, pool/beach days, movie/game nights, dinner in the city, spa/self-care nights, wine/tea tastings, visits to a local brewery, watching Sunday night football games, going to country concerts, etc. In relation to friends, I love having a small friend group. I’ve always had a small friend group, and have always preferred it. This does not mean that I am not open to or do not want to make more/new friends because while I gain energy while being alone, I also gain energy by being with friends. But rather means that having a tight-knit group of close friends brings me more comfort and steadiness than having a singular large group of friends. I need alone time to enjoy time with my friends, but I also need to enjoy time with my friends to be alone. A quiet life for me means they go hand in hand. Most of all, a quiet life to me is a life that focuses itself heavily on mental, emotional, and physical health. I am finally accepting the fact that I prefer to stay in than go out, prefer to not drink than drink, and prefer to do the things I fully enjoy doing than doing the things I don’t.