As I look back on my sophomore year here at Holy Cross, for this last HerCampus article of the season, there is a lot of very high highs, and quite a lot of low lows.Â
My freshman year was a whirlwind of new experiences and new friends, marked by bright-eyed fascination with my new home and excitement. When I arrived back on campus this past fall, the rose-colored glasses weren’t as polished, and reality began to set in.Â
As I’ve written about in past articles this year, I was diagnosed this fall with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. It was a very dark few months, when almost every moment was characterized by teetering on the edge of breakdown. Now, months later, after getting back on my feet through counseling and medication, I have definitely learned how to manage these conditions without letting them define my daily life. Anxiety and panic disorder are a part of my everyday experience, but they are things I beat every day by continuing to do what I love.Â
There’s been many experiences over the past nine months that I could chalk up to titling this year “the sophomore slump”. I have struggled a lot more academically than ever before, social dynamics have shifted, my body image has taken a blow, and I’ve had a major identity crisis as I try and consider my place in life post-college. Sounds like sunshine and rainbows, right?Â
Well, no-but the thing is, there’s amazing things that have happened to me this year. These academic struggles have taught me to advocate for myself and keep pushing, social troubles have taught me to focus on what I can control, body image concerns have taught me to aim to live healthier and be kinder to myself, and my identity crisis has pushed me to live in the moment. I have made amazing memories, and even if all these negative-nelly experiences I mentioned before don’t convince you, this “slump” was actually the beginning of a rise.Â
Let me make it make sense for you by using a delicious example: my prized burrito bowl order from Chipotle. White rice, steak, and extra sour cream. That’s it. Color, or veggies? Get it out of my sight. I like my Chipotle beige and soupy with sour cream. Everyone is always mortified by my order, shaking their heads in disgust. To others, it looks like a nasty mess. But to me, I know that I love it. So basically, this year is my sour cream-filled Chipotle bowl: it might be a messy combo, but I know at the end of the day, I choose to get something good out of it.Â