Some regular readers of the Holy Cross chapter magazine may have come across several of my articles where I speak about my personal journey with my mental health over the past year. Writing about this experiences has been cathartic for me not only through allowing me an opportunity to be vulnerable, something that those with generalized anxiety disorder(GAD) such as myself often struggle with, as well as giving me the chance to hopefully let any readers know they are not alone.Â
I have been struggling with severe panic attacks for years, and it has had a profound effect on my academic experiences. Anyone who has ever had a panic attack knows how deeply all-consuming and physiologically disruptive they can be. Mine have increased in severity and frequency particularly this school year, and have shown me the true extent of the effect mental illness can have on your day. So, where do I go from here?
I am lucky enough to have a phenomenal support system of family and friends, who encouraged me to attend regular counseling. I consulted with my doctor and started anti-anxiety medication, which combined with the counseling has helped me very much. However, there are still many days where my anxiety and panic can feel paramount compared with all the great things in my life. A recent approach that has greatly helped me grapple with these struggles is what I like to call “disconnecting by connecting”.Â
You might be thinking, Emily, that makes zero sense. What I mean by “disconnecting by connecting” is increasing the genuine, meaningful connection I cultivate throughout the day. Spending less time on social media and investing more time and attention into activities that are peaceful for me, such as writing, reading, or simply spending some gentle, quiet time with myself, has greatly improved my day to day. I have also been trying to carry a greater positive attitude throughout my day. I have been trying to smile at everyone I walk past, and have increased the number of compliments I give to those I see on campus. These might seem like trivial things, but they have been a crucial opportunity for me to inject a little positivity into my interactions and the environment I traverse through daily. Seeing the smile and warmth on someone’s face when I compliment their sweater or jeans helps me develop a more positive self-concept. Anxiety disorder is one that makes you feel completely powerless, but these interactions allow me control over making a person feel good, even if for just a few moments of their day.
As I continue to deal with my anxiety disorder and panic attacks, there are certainly good days and bad days. But, there are more good days than bad, and I continue to ride the wave every day and take the good and bad as they come. To anyone facing a similar struggle, I recommend these tangible steps throughout your day, just to give yourself the chance to be a little positive and extend that positive energy to someone else. Remember, you are valued and you are never alone! :)