Ever since I was a little girl, the prospect of change absolutely terrified me. When things were good, I wanted them to remain exactly that way. Outgrowing t-shirts, stuffed animals, even tissue boxes-one bit of change would make me melancholy. As I entered high school, I slowly shed the major parts of this distaste-I was able to discard of an empty water bottle or tissue box-but change still loomed over me like a stranger I hoped never to meet.
As I got to college, change was everywhere, and I welcomed it with open arms. Entirely new friends, new academic subjects, a new home, and new independence. These first few months were such an exciting rush that for the first time in my life, I rejoiced in the change. It was the best thing ever! However, this feeling of blissful oblivion was not to last.
As I am halfway through my sophomore year, things are very different than last year, and I am very different than the girl that first stepped foot on the hill that boiling August day. Friendships have shifted and morphed as individual people grow. This particularly has been difficult for me to grapple with: the little girl inside of me wants everyone to stay the same. I have spent many a night this year lamenting the way things used to be, or even the way I used to be: when college was new and fresh, and every moment was a party.
However, I have just now come to terms with the fact that all those wonderful moments, that I never wanted to change, had to come and go for me to become the Emily I am today. Over the past year and a half, I have learned some heart wrenching lessons, but also had some of the most beautiful experiences. Just because one beautiful experience has come and gone, it doesn’t mean that even greater ones are not ahead of you.
No person or moment in time is meant to be static. The type of person I am today is miles from the girl I was last year, and for the better. Every day, I wake up and just try to be the best version of myself I can be, that I know I can be. It’s not always easy, but I am doing it: traversing through each day working to be the kindest, most positive Emily there is. I move with every ebb and flow, every tear, every spark of joy, having finally realized that nothing will ever stay the same.
And what a beautiful blessing that is.