Why Break Ups Aren't the End of the World

It’s important to understand that the first couple of people that you date will probably not be the person that you end up with. Part of dating is learning what works for you in a relationship and what doesn’t. I wouldn’t say that I regret any of the relationships that I’ve been in since my first boyfriend freshman year of high school because without those experiences, I might have gone for the wrong people in the future. Making mistakes is a part of growing up, and there’s no avoiding them. However, if you are able to rise above those mistakes and better yourself because of them, you’re headed in the right direction.

Photo Courtesy of Jakob Owens

Breaking up with a person who was no longer right for you opens the door to many new opportunities. Think about all of the people that you weren’t able to spend time with because you were always being pulled away by the person you were dating. You can’t deny that when you’re in a relationship, most of your time goes towards that person. Getting out of a relationship means that you have time to spend with old friends, and the opportunity to meet new ones. You can get more involved in other groups and organizations, where you can create new friendships with more like-minded people.

Another advantage of getting out of a relationship is feeling less stress. Relationships can be stressful for a number of reasons, including having arguments with your significant other, not spending enough time with them, spending too much time with them, lack of communication, intimacy problems, and many others. Sometimes, especially in a fizzling relationship, you can feel smothered by the other person or vise versa. When you’re finally free of that relationship, the stress of all of those issues can be lifted off of your shoulders. Of course, you most likely will not feel this relief immediately after the relationship ends. It takes time getting used to the idea of being single. However, once you come to terms with the end of your relationship, you’re guaranteed to feel far more relaxed.

Photo Courtesy of Pedro Gabriel Miziara

A breakup can also give you the chance to focus on developing yourself. I know, from my own personal experience, that going into my freshman year of college with a boyfriend from high school held me back from doing more for myself. He was about an hour away from school, so every other weekend I was driving all the way to him so that we could spend time together. This was a big mistake, especially as a freshman because I was missing out on all of the fun things I could have been doing with my friends, and all of the amazing opportunities on campus. I could have been so much more involved in extracurriculars, but instead, I made sure that my weekends were free so that I could spend time with my ex-boyfriend.

As college students, now is the time to focus on the future and our individual career paths. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t allow you to seize new opportunities and experiences, especially if it impacts your future profession, then you’re better off without them. At the end of the day, you don’t want to have any regrets about not doing something because of the person you were dating at the time. It’s important to take advantage of opportunities while they’re available to you because you never know if you’ll get that chance again.

I was in a relationship that lasted from my senior year of high school, all the way to my freshman year of college. Because I was going to school and he was not, my priorities had changed and I was really trying to focus on school. I wanted to be really involved on campus, but it was hard because he wanted me to visit him as often as I could. I freed my weekends up so I could do this, however, I was missing out on the college experience. It was hard for him to understand why I wanted to do all of these things since he wasn’t going to school. I was changing and maturing a lot throughout my freshman year, whereas he stayed pretty much the same. The relationship wasn’t working anymore because we were both at completely different places in our lives. While I had entered a new chapter in my life, I felt as though he was holding me back from becoming the person I wanted to be. Sometimes relationships fail when it’s time to move on to the next stage of our lives.

Photo Courtesy of Matthew Henry

It’s only natural for people to grow in different directions over time, especially for people who are college age or just out of college. This is because we are still changing and figuring out who we want to be. The person that you were when you start dating someone is not the person that you’ll grow to become, which is perfectly fine. You shouldn’t hold yourself back from growing just to stay in a relationship with a person. If you’re meant to stay with that person, they’ll grow with you and accept the changes you make in your life.

 

Cover Photo Courtesy of W A T A R I