Maintaining any friendship takes work. Even the best of us can fail at being good friends sometimes. Most of us, at some point or another, have started to feel pressured or crowded by one of our close friends. Maybe it’s because of something they said to us. Maybe it’s because they aren’t giving us enough space, or maybe it’s because they’re only talking about themselves and not listening to what we have to say. Whatever it is that’s causing the tension, we start to feel like everything that person does is somehow annoying or irritating to us. Before you snap, here are some ways you might be able to solve the problem without breaking the friendship.
- Take a step back
-
Really think about what it is that’s bothering you. Is it because of something your friend did, or is there something else going on in your life that is affecting your relationship with this person? Sometimes writing out your frustrations in a journal or in your notes app will help you to identify what the root of the problem is.
- Spend some time away from them
-
If it’s at all possible, try to get some space from that person. Take this time to reconnect with your other friends and focus on yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should completely ghost or ignore your friend, but not being around them 24/7 might help you to be more level-headed and less annoyed in your interactions with them.
- Be direct
-
If something is really bothering you, the best thing to do is be upfront about it. After having taken some time to cool off and sort out your feelings, explain to your friend that what they’ve been doing or saying has been hurting you. Make it clear that you still want to be friends, but explain the effect that these behaviors have on you. This being said, directness is NOT the same as bluntness. Telling your friend that they annoy you will only hurt them and your friendship. Approach the situation with their feelings in mind, too. Most of the time, our friends have the best intentions and don’t realize what they are saying or doing might be bothering us.
- Reassure them
-
Let them know that your need for space doesn’t mean that you don’t still love and value them. When you’re ready, make plans with them again doing something you know you both enjoy. Remind yourself of the reason the two of you became friends in the first place.
The key to any good friendship is knowing how to communicate with one another. If you aren’t able to talk to that person, it’s hard to establish trust and deepen your bond. Find the ways of communicating that work best for you and help you both to come to an understanding.