When people hear the term long distance relationship it is often correlated with failed relationships or “unrealistic relationships,” but that is hardly the case. Although there is distance between the couple, the love that they feel for each other is just as strong, if not stronger than it is in any other relationship. If you put in the work, your long distance relationship will flourish! Here is some advice on how to make your long distance relationship work from people who have been or are currently in long-distance relationships.
1. “My number one tip is to stay busy and focused on what you are doing as an individual because not only will it help you from feeling sad because you miss the other person, but it will help you flourish as your own person. You have the advantage to focus solely on yourself since you are apart from your significant other, so take the opportunity. Yes you still have to make an effort in your relationship but you won’t feel guilty for studying late and taking on a lot of tasks because your significant other isn’t physically there waiting for you to come hang out. Use it as an opportunity to work on yourself apart from your relationship!”
2. “We make an effort to FaceTime each other like once a week which makes me really happy to see his face and hear his voice. Other than that, we just have little reminders we keep with us like pictures on our desks and handwritten cards. I think having personal touches like being able to read his handwriting when I’m sad always makes me feel like a piece of him is with me.”
– Gia Tims, in a long distance relationship with Noah Devaney for three years
3. “My biggest piece of advice would be to honestly communicate with your partner. If something is bothering you, tell them, and be as honest as you can. Without honesty in a relationship, you really have nothing. If you can’t honestly tell your partner what’s bothering you and you can’t talk about things together, then you’re going to have a hard time staying together if you’re in a long distance relationship”
– Maddie Merinuk, in a long distance relationship for one and a half years with Aaron Burt
4. “When you guys aren’t together you have to realize that you have to talk enough to stay connected. But you can’t constantly FaceTime or text that person when you’re apart because that takes away from the rest of your life and the people that are around you. You have to find the balance between your partner and yourself.”
– Jenni Goldstein, has been in a long distance relationship for two months with Nico Bermudez
5. “Have something special for you and your partner while you’re apart. My boyfriend and I made a playlist of songs on Spotify that we love or remind us of each other. Whenever I’m feeling upset that he’s not here I just turn on the playlist and I feel alright. Other ways things that you can do to help the separation are FacetTme, send letters or small gifts, sometimes we even watch Netflix together when we’re on Skype. It’s just little the things that make the distance not so terrible when you’re apart.”
– Julia Farella, in a long distance relationship for one year with Grayson Skweres
6. “So what I always say is communication is the most important. Be completely honest with how you’re feeling and with your worries especially because otherwise those feelings can build up and turn into resentment. Just talk things out! It’s also nice to still have “date nights”. My boyfriend and I would both make popcorn and watch a Netflix show together, starting it at the same time. Then you can laugh and talk about it like you usually would while hanging out. Never underestimate the power of sending a short text, just saying you miss the other person or saying you love them. Even better is getting a phone call just because they wanted to hear your voice. This just reassures your partner in your relationship, even though you feel so distant.”
– Amanda Kruse, in a long distance relationship for two years with Robert Biddle
7. “Communication is definitely a big aspect of keeping a long distance relationship. When we’re apart we text often and we FaceTime when both of us are available so we can see each other’s faces. But it’s also nice to see each other for a steady amount of time in person so you feel like you’re still a part of each other’s lives so it’s good to plan out visits when you can.”
– Justin Huntsman, in a long distance relationship for three and a half years with Emma Santoni
8. ” Definitely set aside some time during the day to talk or FaceTime with your significant other when you are not distracted by other things. I also believe that what makes a long distance relationship work is the quality of the conversations. It is easy to fall into the habit of just telling each other what our plans are for the day, but it is important to also talk about things that connect each other, whether that may be talking about a TV show we are both watching or our plans for when we will see each other. I think this really helps give importance to who you are as a couple rather than limiting the conversation to who you are as separate individuals.We also like to play games such as Words With Friends because it gives us something to look forward to where we both are challenging each other.”
– Vivian Zagarese, in a long distance relationship for three years with Daniel Byrne
Long distance relationships are what you make of them! To make them work you need communication, effort, and dedication to your partner. The more work you put into your relationship the better and healthier it will be. The most important thing is to always make sure that you’re happy within your relationship and everything else will fall into place.
Cover photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash