If you clicked on this article, you know the title is a very loaded question. The simplest answer we can give you is, it all really depends.
Every single answer to this question is completely situational, however, there are a few general guidelines you should be following to uphold boundaries and respect for all parties involved.
In order to establish these guidelines in your own life, you must look inward and ask yourself a few questions.
First, we know the relationship you have with your significant other, but what’s the relationship between your roommate and your significant other? The reasoning behind asking this question is the backbone of having your significant other over. Before even entertaining the idea you should find out your roommate’s comfortability level. Are your roommate and your significant other friends? Do they even know each other? If not, can they get to know each other? As mentioned above, the answers to these questions set the entire parameters of the situation. If your roommate and significant other do know each other and are even friends, them coming over doesn’t need to be contemplated extensively. You guys can coexist peacefully and maybe even have fun hanging out all together.
However, if your answer to these questions is a little bit different, the circumstances of having your significant other over might be a little different as well. Don’t despair, just communicate! There is a big “yet” involved in this scenario meaning, they don’t know each other yet or aren’t friends yet. You can still do the work to forge these relationships in order to keep it comfortable for everyone. Since these are two people you have commitments with, one physically living together and the other an emotional commitment, you’re gonna want them to get to know each other anyways.
Trust is everything, and you need to gain that trust from your roommate before inviting someone else into your joint space. A lot of the time, if you’re friends with your roommate, this trust comes naturally. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have important conversations about boundaries and everything that comes with living together. Some rules that you may think are unspoken might not be the same in their minds and vice-versa. At the end of the day, it’s better to be overly cautious and communicative than create any type of awkward situation.
All in all have the conversations, build trust and don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.
