I call this episode: Cradle Robbers and Krystal
We started off this week trash talking my least favorite person, Baby Bekah, mainly because there is a 14 year age gap between Baby Bekah and Arie.
There were 15 girls in the house, but this episode they left L.A. behind for another worldwide adventure to Lake Tahoe. This scenery was too beautiful for the hot mess that is Arie’s season of The Bachelor. However, it seemed more Arie’s speed, pardon the pun, as he is a more outdoorsy, adventurous guy.
Seinne got the first one-on-one on vacation in beautiful Lake Tahoe. Arie took her parasailing and she brought a bit of honesty and realism to the show admitting she couldn’t use “the L word” yet; she just needs more time. It was fairly anticlimactic, but Seinne is incredible smart and honestly too good for this show, and for that reason I can’t give her a nickname. Seinne talked a lot about how she didn’t see many love stories with girls who looked like her, because she is African American, and Arie responded by saying he hoped that this could be her love story and gave her a rose. *Swoon* and then *queue another cheesy concert to end a date.* As Seinne was out, Maquel received an unexpected phone call from her mother, giving her the news that her grandfather passed away unexpectedly. She packed her bags and left quickly.
In other anticlimactic news, I am so over these massive group dates. This date the girls were brought to a survival wilderness camp and every single girl had the same outfit on with only slight variation, but what else is new. I liked this date because it separated the dedicated ones from the “prissy” girls. Five minutes in, everyone peed in a bottle and history was made with Jenna’s comment, “I’d drink my pee for Arie.” Kendall and Arie shared a worm snack followed by a quick make out session, but it really allowed Tia and Kendall to shine because they were not afraid to get down and dirty.
The girls were separated into three teams and had to find their way to the next location. Arie’s team was the first team there and they all went straight to the bubbly and hot tub and that’s when this episode dived into the drama. Smitten Kitten Krystal went on a little tangent all about how the girls are desperate, and she felt like she’s at a high school camp and she’s the counselor. It felt painfully accurate, but I also was like, “Uh, Krystal, spending so much time complaining about the other girls is just as immature and desperate.” Behind her back everyone was trash talking Smitten Kitten Krystal and honestly I could barely handle this drama. She used her time with Arie to cry and complain about the other girls “putting a target on [her] back” because the girls feel “a little threatened” by her. She finished her rant off with a comment about how “she’s so above this and beyond this . . . [she’s] just floored with the insecurity and the immaturity here is just f****** baffling.” Tia left a messy confrontation with Smitten Kitten Krystal and spent her time working on her relationship with Arie. Tia said she says she feels a comfort with Arie, but it scares her that he feels it with other people. She opened up enough for her to get the rose.
Since this was her episode, I felt the need to highlight a key moment for Smitten Kitten Krystal with her comment, “I felt really challenged yesterday because I feel like its hard for me to like really shine who I am while trying not to be intimidating to the girls who I spend a majority of the time with because I come across as flawless and then have a target put on my back . . . I just feel a little misunderstood.” Yeah, honey you’re not misunderstood. Everyone sees right through you.
Baby Bekah M. got the second one-on-one to go horseback riding. Before the date started, Arie described Baby Bekah as full of life, super mature, full of wisdom, and a lot deeper than other women. By the end of the date all he could say is “young” and all I could say was “nearly illegal.” After some horseback riding, Baby Bekah and Arie got overly cozy in a hot tub bringing a whole new meaning to HOT tub. However, chemistry only gets you so far when Arie asked Baby Bekah if she is ready to be married. She interrupted saying the time is right if it’s the right person. Well, duh Baby Bekah! He wants to know if you are mature enough to settle down with him, stay loyal, have kids with him, and have a boring old people cute life because you are only 22 and Arie doesn’t know it. Baby Bekah realizes he doesn’t know she’s 22 and so she gets very uncomfortable as she tells him the truth. He freaked out a little bit and realized just how much of a cradle robber he is.
Arie was visibly distressed as he told Baby Bekah she should live her life, and he doesn’t want to take time from her, and she might not be ready. Baby Bekah asked if the journey would be worth it if she realized at the end she wasn’t ready and he said no, he wants a wife. He is very stressed, but still (for some reason) gives her the rose because “at this point I can’t let you go.” Yikes. This week the most painful event of the night was cut short when Arie canceled the cocktail party causing the girls to panic, Smitten Kitten Krystal in particular. She realized that she wasn’t the only front-runner and her insecurities took over. She interrupted the rose ceremony to pull him aside to talk to him to make sure he knew she was into him and it just fed the drama for the girls. It came down to the last rose before Smitten Kitten Krystal received one. So we get Smitten Kitten Krystal for yet another painful week.
What this episode lacked in action made up for in drama and it looks like it is only going to get worse. Do I smell another Corinne on our hands? I don’t want to find out.
Season 22 Episode 5 Highlights
First trip: Lake Tahoe
Roses: Tia, Seinne, Baby Bekah
Bitchiest women of the house: Smitten Kitten Krystal (still)
Front runners: Baby Bekah M., Tia, Seinne, Lauren B.
Eliminated: Brittany T. and Caroline (Brittany T. for the next Bachelorette!)
Memorable Moments from Season 22
First kiss: Brittany T.
First French kiss: Chelsea
First steal: Makel from Chelsea
First Impression Rose: Chelsea
First one-on-one date: Becca K.
First girl sent home on one-on-one: Lauren S.
First trip: Lake Tahoe
Cover photo courtesy of Disney ABC Press
Season 22 Episode 5 airs January 29 at 8 p.m. ET/ 7 p.m. CT on ABC