Throughout history, LGBTQ+ individuals have been discriminated against and harassed for nothing but the identity they were born as. There have been numerous milestones made in the fight for queer equality, such as the Stonewall Riots in 1969 and the legalization of gay marriage in 2015, but we still have a ways to go. One of the more pressing issues that are underrepresented is that of lesbian visibility.
Despite being represented by the first letter in the LGBTQ+ acronym, lesbians still find themselves being left out of queer representation throughout media and society as a whole. This past year, I went to a major commercial chain near me to check out the collection that they released for Pride Month. They had gay pride flags, transgender pride flags, pansexual pride flags, bisexual pride flags, asexual pride flags, and even ally pride flags, but there were no lesbian pride flags in sight. Not a single item they had out contained the lesbian pride flag. This kind of thing isn’t an isolated incident either. Women who love women are left out of so many things while other identities are celebrated. Why is this happening?
To understand this phenomenon of the loss of lesbian visibility, we have to first consider how society views women. It’s no secret that women have been historically discriminated against and still are. When it comes to a woman’s sexuality, women are stereotypically viewed as being in service to men and existing solely for the male gaze. When women in relationships with other women are then put under society’s lens, a lot of people will fetishize it and still keep it under that male gaze that pervades society. It’s for this reason that a lot of people will consider lesbian relationships on TV or in the media to be “explicit” and NSFW. They automatically assume that a woman-loving-woman relationship, or WLW relationship, is overtly sexual and suggestive when in reality it isn’t. We see this in many instances, such as in 2019 when Hallmark aired an ad depicting two women at the altar and conservative groups campaigned for it to be taken down for not being “family-friendly.” Nothing about two women kissing at the altar is inherently sexual or NSFW, yet there were individuals who were appalled to see something like that air on a family channel like Hallmark.
In addition to the fetishization of WLW relationships, there is a demonization of it at times as well. In past years LGBTQ+ representation in media has made leaps and bounds, but men still outnumber women in terms of representation. Think about it: when you think of queer media that you’ve seen recently, what comes to mind? I’m guessing that you think of shows like Love, Simon; Call Me By Your Name, or Moonlight. Notice a pattern? These all are headlined by queer male characters. Society seems to have found a happy medium when it comes to queer representation by settling on queer men who are predominantly white. Who doesn’t love the media’s stereotypical portrayal of a gay man? They’re often played as funny, quirky, and have the best shopping tips. Meanwhile, lesbians are played as tough, mean, rebellious, and even predatory at times. These portrayals are rampant and are harmful to the queer community as a whole, but to lesbians especially. Now everyone wants a gay best friend, except if that gay best friend is a lesbian woman.
Something that is also important to consider in the disappearance of lesbian visibility is behavior within the lesbian community itself. 20 years ago, lesbian bars were thriving spaces where queer women would go to meet and have fun with each other. Nowadays, lesbian bars are at an all-time low when physically safe spaces like those are essential for queer women. This disappearance of queer spaces for women can be traced back to the fact that the face of queer women as a whole is changing.
In the early 2000s, lesbians were more harshly divided between femme and butch within their own culture. Butch women were hyper-masculine and conformed to male culture, perhaps due to the societal idea that relationships needed the balance of a male and female presence. Now, the ideas of butch/femme and the lesbian relationship dynamic have changed in recent years. Queer fashion and signaling have become more androgynous and inclusive, partially eliminating harsh divides of identity within lesbian culture. This blurring of the line may be discouraging lesbians to attend gay bars, however, since they are stereotypically perceived as masculine spaces. Yet, gay bars with drag queens and bachelor parties thrive due to the fetishization of gay men as “fun and silly” guys that the girls can hang out with.
This issue of lesbian spaces is something that can be solved by the lesbian community itself. There needs to be a revolutionization of the definition of lesbian spaces beyond bars. The emergence of lesbian coffee shops, lesbian clubs, lesbian fitness spaces, and more would create such a valuable resource for queer women everywhere. Until then, lesbians must continue to support each other and find ways to uplift each other.
So how do you help to fix all of this? First off, allyship and recognition are key. Make a point to support your lesbian friends, lesbian media, and lesbian-produced goods and services. Celebrate the Lesbian Day of Visibility on April 26th or International Lesbian Day on October 8th and let others know that these days exist and should be recognized. Additionally, donate to services like GLAAD and the Trevor Project that support not just lesbians, but the rest of the queer community as a whole. If we all work together to change the perception of lesbian women in society, we can finally see lesbian culture being accepted and thriving once and for all.