Cuffing season is, for some, the warmest, cuddliest time of the year. For others, the bane of existence. Relationships are some of the most elusive, finicky parts of life, and sometimes it feels like you just want to know exactly how to get one, how to find a partner, how to get “cuffed.” Here at Her Campus Hofstra, we may not have the secret to love, but we certainly can ask people what they’re looking for!
We published a survey asking people a series of questions about what they look for in potential partners and, right here, right now, we’re giving you the answers:
49 people gave responses.
39 were girls, eight of them boys and one non-binary.
There were a wide range of sexual identifications reported, from straight to pansexual.
17 are in serious relationships, 26 are not and five are either avoiding commitment or in something that wouldn’t be considered “serious.” Here are their answers:
Which is most important to you: physical traits, personality traits or emotional intelligence?
Zero answered “physical traits.”
37 answered “personality traits.”
12 answered “emotional intelligence.”
On a scale of 1-100, how important are communication skills?
Average: 91.
Humor?
Average: 84.
Opinions of friends and family?
Average: 71.
Similar/Same Political Views?
Average: 64.
The best part of the survey, though, was the open-ended answers. We’ve compiled what we feel were the best answers to the big question: What are you looking for?
“Someone who is mature, cares about my emotions and my wellbeing, a good listener and who is willing to own up to [their] mistakes and apologize.”
“I’m just looking for somebody who’s down to cuddle literally whenever and I can be my disgusting self around.”
“If they don’t get along with my family and friends, it’s a hard pass! They also just need to be a decent human being. Honestly and respect is everything!”
“Communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship! Discussing issues before they can take a toll on your relationship allows both people to be happier, more fulfilled and feel more understood and listened to. Relationships are truly about choice and commitment. By being with someone, you’re choosing to prioritize them and your relationship . . . A reminder: someone can make you laugh and like the same kind of music, but they can still be a bad match for you if you don’t have similar energies in terms of commitment and values.”
“They have to be smart?!?”
“I just want someone who doesn’t like cheesecake as much as I do . . . then I can have all the cheesecake and they can have like . . . pie.”
When it comes down to it, finding the “perfect” partner cannot be broken down to a science. No one is perfect.
Allow us to repeat.
No one is perfect. Even if during the first month of your new relationship, it feels like you’re floating on air, your partner is still a human and still has flaws. The best and worst part of any long-term relationship is finding small ways to fall in love with those flaws, but if the love is real, it’s always worth it. Be loving, be caring, be independent and smart, be open and love will find its way to you.
(And if it doesn’t, HC Hofstra still loves you, and you’ll always be a part of our fam)