British Vogue published an article titled “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” that caught social media’s attention. Writer Chanté Joseph argued the fact that women are less inclined to post about their boyfriends because having a boyfriend is simply embarrassing. She mentioned that women feel less empowered when they have a man by their side because womanhood is no longer defined by heterosexual relationships.
I scroll Vogue almost every day. I saw this article in passing and didn’t think much of it. Until I was scrolling through Tiktok one day and noticed everyone else also has seen the article, and has opinions about it.
Joseph even made an Instagram Reel where she said that women told her they broke up with their boyfriends after reading her piece.
Posting a boyfriend as a significant figure in a woman’s life should not be embarrassing. I don’t believe that having a boyfriend regresses a woman’s role in society. I think it’s important to show that there is love for everyone and love is a beautiful factor of life. Just because you post your significant other doesn’t mean that a woman is all about their man; it just simply means they’re in love with the life they’re living.
Joseph also talks a lot about how women want to post little bits of their relationship or a “soft launch” rather than post everything. I think posting a boyfriend as more of an accessory than a significant other is more embarrassing. To me, that means you’re not in love with the man, you’re in love with the idea of a relationship.
If having a partner is embarrassing, why would we even take the time to tease a man when we can just keep the relationship completely private instead?
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to enjoy single life and enjoy feeling like an empowered, independent woman. I just simply think being embarrassed about being in love destroys the fundamental ideas of a relationship. Keeping life private and feeling embarrassed or having relationship guilt are completely different conversations.
This article also has a major impact on the women that are in relationships currently and have posted relationships in the past. For me, as someone that’s been in a relationship for almost four years, I will always post about my boyfriend. Social media is a space for me and my memories that I can look back on. Obviously social media looks different for many people, but now am I and other women in relationships going to post our significant others less because the biggest fashion magazine in the world told millions of people that having a boyfriend is embarrassing?
The social factor of this article’s headline will have a bigger impact than the content of the article itself. Most social media users don’t even read past the headline, making having a boyfriend simply embarrassing without any context.
All-in-all, having a boyfriend is not “loser-ish” and I’m not sure when society said women can’t showcase their heterosexual relationships. All love is beautiful and complex. Women should brag about their happiness without guilt. A man does not define a woman’s success or independence, the woman does.
As a sex, women need to go back to the fundamental ideas of feminism – all genders should be equal rather than bring down men. Posting the headline “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” does just that. Women should never be embarrassed by their counterparts just for existing. Not posting a boyfriend should require an actual concrete reason to be embarrassed. If a man is a loser, then he’s a loser, being in a relationship isn’t.