Here's Everything You Need to Know About Asexuality

Asexuality Awareness Week first came to be in 2010, and this year’s Ace Week is October 20th through the 26th. It is an incredible opportunity to open up the world’s eyes to the existence and struggles of the asexual community, as well as providing resources for those struggling with their sexual identity.

It’s important before going forward into this article to establish a clear definition of asexuality. Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person doesn’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, which in turn means they have no desire for sexual interactions or contact. While it is often assumed that someone who identifies as asexual also doesn’t experience romantic feelings for another person, this is not the case. Sexual and romantic experiences, while often grouped, can be felt separately. If a person doesn’t experience romantic feelings for anyone else, they would be considered aromantic. 

 

Image courtesy of Jasmine Wallace on Nappy

It’s well understood that asexuality is a term that many people may not be too familiar with. In order to do our part in spreading information on this subject, we are going to go through some important specifics about individuals within the asexual community. 

 

Asexual people do have sex (sometimes) 

It is easier to understand how this one can be confusing at first. While a person may not have the desire to engage in sexual activity, it is not uncommon for them to perform sexual activities with their partners who may not identify as asexual. Also, asexuality, like sexuality as a whole, is a spectrum. Some people who choose to identify as asexual may feel some sexual attraction when with the right person and under specific circumstances. Demisexual is the specific term for someone who only has sexual attraction after an emotional connection has already been established with a person, however, it does fall under the umbrella term of asexual.

Asexual does not mean broken

There is nothing wrong in any sense with having no sexual attraction. It is 100% possible to live a fulfilled and happy life without it. People who identify as asexual haven’t just “been with the wrong people” or “haven’t done it right.” No one has the special power to make you feel sexual attraction where you don’t. 

Asexuality isn’t a choice 

While it is a relatively new identity, it is estimated that around 1% of the population defines themselves as asexual. This percentage is expected to grow once the term is more widely understood and accepted. Nonetheless, the simple truth is that no one chooses to be asexual. Like other identities within the LGBTQA+ community, there is a stigma around asexuality, claiming that because it hasn’t been around forever, it’s made up or it’s a psychological problem. Neither of these statements is true.

Being celibate is not the same as being asexual 

This one ties back into the misconception that identifying as asexual means you don’t have sex. Practicing celibacy is when you have decided to, due to whatever beliefs you may hold, remain a virgin until the night after you get married. Resisting the urge to give in to sexual temptation and choosing to save yourself for marriage does not make you have to identify as asexual.Photo courtesy of Shopify Partners on Burst

Understanding and coming to terms with your sexual identity is a struggle that a large number of people go through in their lives. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and remember that you are never alone in this process. If you are looking for more information, you can visit asexuality.org. This website has plenty of answers to most questions you may have in regards to asexuality as well as links to other blogs, forums and important resources you may use if you ever need help.

To all our asexual readers out there: we see you, we love you, and we are here to make the world an easier one for you to live in. This week we are celebrating you and your wonderful existence!