Dragging Your Astrology Sign For Filth

Fellow astrology lovers! Please enjoy this brutally honest zodiac drag.  If you don’t know your sun sign (or want to find out your full chart for fun!) head over to astro.cafeastrology.com to get your birth chart!  These are from my personal experiences with these signs, and they are all in good fun, so please don’t get offended (I’m talking to you, Cancers).

(Gif courtesy of Giphy.com

Capricorn- The most brutally honest people I have ever met. Guys, it’s okay to show emotion! Learn how to better communicate with others by sharing your ~feelings~ (I promise, it’s not that hard).

 

Aquarius- Y’all are so confusing and wishy-washy. You get bored easily and are always looking for a change when something doesn’t interest you anymore. Try being committed to something that’s longer than 2 days!

 

Pisces- You guys are almost worse than Tauruses. You hate confrontation and want everyone to be happy all the time, even if that means ignoring your own feelings, which we all know are fragile. Stand up for yourself and don’t let people walk all over you!

 

Aries- Aries… I don’t know what to say without getting attacked. You guys are hot-headed, moody, scary, the list goes on.  You guys will fight over any and everything.  Try sitting down and relaxing, and think before speaking to someone!

 

Taurus- Tauruses are so afraid of change, even if it has to deal with emotions and toxic relationships.  Don’t be such a pushover; it’s okay to not always forgive people!

 

Gemini- Ah Gemini’s, the lovely twin sign, (I might be biased here, sorry!). Why are we the most hated? Sure, we have 7 different personalities and our moods can change in a blink of an eye (I wish I was being dramatic here, it’s exhausting), but at least we are exciting to be around! But seriously, stop overexaggerating things like it’s your day job-- and for the love of GOD please don’t send that gossip text about the information you heard .2 seconds ago.

 

Cancer- Cancers are one of the most emotional, sensitive signs in the Zodiac (I have a cancer moon, so I would know). I won’t be too mean but… stop crying all the damn time.

 

Leo- Try thinking about something other than yourself for once (you can do it, I believe in you!).

 

Virgo- Virgo’s need to have every second of their life organized and color-coded. They thrive over having power.  You don’t need to be in control over everything!

 

Libra- Hey guys! Just a PSA that you don’t need to be liked by everyone!

 

Scorpio- Scorpios… you guys are super manipulative.  You collect friends like a fantasy football team and will use anyone in order to get what you want.  Some advice: you don’t have to flirt with every person you meet!

 

Sagittarius- Probably the most stubborn sign.  Just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean their opinion is wrong! Try looking at things from their perspective.

 

I truly hope you enjoyed this roast!

(Gif courtesy of Giphy.com)