Dear Women Everywhere,
Pause for a moment and take a deep breath. Allow yourself to reflect on the positive energies in your life. Find the spaces filled with golden sunlight that exist within yourself.
Stand in those big, open spaces of golden sunlight and peer into the unlit corners.
It’s okay to be scared of them. Within those dark and mysterious corners exists the monsters that are created out of the negative experiences we go through in life.
These negative experiences or monsters exist within us as traumas that attempt to overtake our lives and slowly creep into the spaces filled with golden sunlight until all that is left are the dark corners that seem never-ending. They attempt to eat away at the positive experiences and energies that serve the purpose of fighting off the darkness.
It comes as no surprise that the things we experience in our lives change us in inexplicable ways. A person may enter our lives, causing us to question how we could ever live without them. Vice versa, someone may exit our lives, leaving memories to seem like distant dreams and their presence to feel like that of a stranger’s.
The thing about trauma is that it is not choosey.
It does not care who it affects or who or what leaves it. Trauma can be caused by a toxic friendship, an abusive relationship, unrelenting classmates and even unknowing parents.
I have blamed myself for these traumas, as I am sure many of us have. We think it is our fault that we now have to deal with these negative energies that are existing inside of us. However, a very close friend of mine reminded me of something recently that I needed to hear.
She simply stated, “It is not your fault for not preventing him from hurting you.” In that conversation, we discussed that abusive and toxic relationships of any kind cause us to purely do what we need to do to get by.
What is left up to you is how you handle these traumas. Do you allow them to consume you and eat away at the golden sunlight? Or do you fight them off one by one to allow more of that sunlight to radiate through you?
It is imperative to our growth and success to overcome these traumas.
A healthy and functioning adult does not exist by allowing traumatic events to consume them, nor are they able to maintain satisfactory relationships of any capacity in their lives. These traumas thrive off of causing us to question the validity of the positive things we experience.
When we doubt ourselves, those are our traumas, our monsters consuming us.
Fighting against trauma to overcome it is not an easy feat. It also does not happen overnight. The phrase “time heals all wounds” is correct, but the amount of time it takes for this to happen is never the same for any two experiences. Attempting to rush through the trauma also does not help. Instead, it allows the trauma to exist within you longer.
However, it is possible to heal from our traumas. It is possible to recognize the things weighing us down. We have to understand that is one of the first steps in the healing process. By simply admitting that the power to overcome our traumas is within us, we take the first steps towards healing.
When healing from these negative experiences, the most impactful thing you can do is to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself to breathe. Do things at your own pace and in a manner that makes sense to you.
The best tip to heal came to me during the summer of 2019. In order to truly process the feelings that come out of traumatic experiences, you should sit with that feeling. Note how it feels physically. Locate the places you are holding the emotions in your feelings. Question why you’re holding the emotions there, and ask yourself why you are feeling that way.
Slowly, you’ll have a better understanding of your trauma. You’ll be able to identify the way you are feeling and why.
It is terrifying to go through this process. Through this, you enter such a vulnerable state in which you are forced to identify everything you’re feeling. Yet, it allows you to process and heal in such an authentic way.
Never isolate yourself when working through these feelings. Allow yourself to open up to at least one person you trust, or seek out professional help. Processing these emotions cannot be done alone.
When in doubt, practice some self-care and partake in activities that bring the golden sunlight into your life.
Choosing to process and overcome your trauma is one of the most powerful things that you can do for yourself. The hardest part is making that choice.
Always choose the golden sunlight over the dark corners.
All the best,
Gabby