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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Believe It or Not, I’m Not Interested in a Relationship This Valentine’s Day

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Hofstra chapter.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, most people have romance on the brain. However, I’m not interested in a relationship despite the fact that February is the month of love.

Speaking from my own personal experience as a college freshman, I feel like it’s more important for me to approach my relationships with an open mind. Constantly searching for “the right person” or someone date-able prevents me from getting to know non-romantic people. My goal is to form strong friendships first. After I feel like I’ve found people who respect and like me because of my personality non-romantically, I’ll have a stronger foundation for pursuing a significant other.

three women holding each other and smiling and laughing
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez from Unsplash

I also value the knowledge that my happiness comes from my own accomplishments and individual connections to the people around me rather than through a significant other. While I understand that having a boyfriend or girlfriend for some people brings them happiness, I’m very wary of how intertwined couples become. I recognize that invites to events might turn into “Anna and ____,” even if the group may not want both people there, or even if one partner may not feel like going with the other.

Pink neon love sign
Photo by Shaira Dela Pena from Unsplash

These are little reasons for avoiding a relationship, but it’s mostly a personal thing. I don’t think that I’ve become the person I want to be yet. With starting college and the pandemic, I’m not content with how my life has been going, a there is still so much about myself that I want to improve before I even consider trying to be the support person for someone else, including my mental, physical, and social health. I want to be the best person possible when I do find someone I’m interested in, so self-improvement is a big part of my current life goals.

Girl holding heart in sunset
Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR from Pexels

That being said, that doesn’t mean that I don’t support those who choose to pursue relationships. Some people thrive in that kind of environment. Nevertheless, I plan on spending Valentine’s Day making Valentines for my friends and eating candy! How are you spending yours?

Anna DeGoede

Hofstra '24

Anna is a journalism major with a passion for true crime, Minecraft and good food. When she isn't writing for HerCampus or The Hofstra Chronicle, Anna plays the trumpet and crochets.