Maintaining a long distance relationship can be hard work. It doesn’t matter if you’re apart from your person for a few days, weeks or months. Being apart from the person you love is tough on the heart no matter what the situation is. Based on experience, these are some things you should know before getting yourself into a long distance relationship.
- Long distance isn’t for everyone
I’m sure you may come across really depressing statistics basically telling you that you and your loved one are destined to lead separate paths. But you should know that for some people long distance is actually good for them. Depending on who you’re going through this with, the experience can be life-changing (for the better.)
- Be ready to love yourself
Being away from your partner might make you feel lonely and sad, but if you keep a solid state of mind you can take all of this extra time and work on yourself. Make new goals, seek new experiences and find new hobbies. After all, we could all use a little self-improvement.
- Trust, trust and trust
If you don’t trust the person you’re with, then you will spend all of your time doubting and wondering about your relationship. Keeping negative emotions and conflict in the air will only lose trust between a pair. Staying honest and leaving solid time for your partner every week is a good way to keep going strong.
- Communication is key
In a new long distance relationship you will probably feel like you need to be communicating 100% of the time. The truth is that this constant communication might form unhealthy habits that will be extremely hard to change later on. Don’t expect responses out of thin air, because they are just as busy as you living their own lives too.
- Throw away your insecurities
If you don’t feel secure in the relationship that you’re in when you see your partner 24/7, then don’t even bother long distance. You need to be able to feel secure with the person you’re with, and know that they are with you for a reason. Also, make sure you know that you chose to stay with them for a reason.
- You will become more patient
Waiting is probably the most painful part of a long distance relationship. Of course when you look forward to something, time only feels like it is stretching longer and longer. This will change after a few months of long distance, and every moment you spend with your lover will be even more precious than the last. You will get used to waiting around and hopefully start to use your time usefully instead of moping in your bed all day.
- Learn to not give up
If you want it bad enough, then it will probably already take you a lot to give up. You need to remember why you got into the relationship in the first place, and know that no matter how hard it gets there should be a way to fix it. Whether that is waiting, talking on the phone, seeing them in person, etc. Also, don’t fall under the pressure of everybody telling you that it’s a bad idea. It is your decision and you will get through it by supporting each other.
- Agree on your expectations for each other
Talking things out and deciding how you want to handle things when you go long distance is an important step in the process. Making things clear especially how often you’ll text, call, facetime, etc. Make sure both people in the relationship know each other’s boundaries. If you both have different expectations and don’t talk about it beforehand, it’s going to be harder to clear them up once you’re apart.
- Mark your calendars!
Something that will significantly help through long distance is marking your calendar. Try to compare schedules and figure out specific dates that you will see each other throughout the year. It’s harder to wait so long when you have no idea when you will actually see your partner. Downloading a countdown app is a fun way to do this too.
- It won’t be easy
Don’t expect your relationship to be the same as in person but just through texts instead. Things will constantly be changing due to schedules, sports, hobbies, and everything that life throws at you. There’s not always something to talk about, and you have to be able to cope with the distance. It’s not easy all the time, but you will learn how to communicate better, be more independent, more confident and so many more important lessons throughout the way.
Being aware of these ten ideas and tips should help when working through your long distance relationship. If you love each other and are willing to fight for it then you shouldn’t let anything get in your way of being happy together. As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.