As I sit in Starbucks for the third consecutive hour, making plans to grab Dunkin’ for the second time today, I realize that coffee has taken over my life. Instead of asking people to hang out, I ask if they want to grab coffee. My mood is dependent on my coffee intake. I have a specific budget set aside for coffee. I save magic meals to use strictly at Starbucks. Coffee consumes my life just as much, if not more, than I consume it.
This sudden revelation of truth did not settle too well with me literally and figuratively. My ridiculous coffee intake lead to a super bad constant stomachache. So the first thing my doctor told me is to remove coffee from my diet. This action was easier said than done.
There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and last but not least, acceptance. Unfortunately, I have experienced them all.
Denial: The first day of my coffee detox just so happened to be the day Starbucks launched their infamous Pumpkin Spiced Latte. Obviously I convinced myself that the PSL tasted terrible and that I do not need coffee in my life, duh!
Anger: By the third day of my coffee detox, I began to look at everyone drinking coffee with pure disgust. The weather all week was super cold and rainy and nothing would feel better in my hands than a nice, warm Starbucks cup. The headaches began to set in and the need for caffee is at an all time high.
Bargaining: My stomach was not hurting at the moment so that meant I was feeling well enough to drink coffee right? Right! I had myself convinced that coffee was a good idea, but luckily my roommate had my best interest in mind. I literally had to call her and have her talk me out of buying a Starbucks. That is how bad my addiction has become. I need coffee. Too much. All the time. I just need coffee.
Depression: The smell of coffee fills the air throughout my room the moment I wake up. Upon that first deep breath in the morning, rage begins to take over my emotions. Aside from the anger, my headache begins to increase and I start to act a tad bit flustered. All I see on campus are happy people holding their coffee. They are perky in the morning and content in the afternoon. Everyone drinking their coffee just looks oh so happy! Then there is me- super angry that I cannot have coffee when the only thing I want in this world is coffee. I just want a darn pumpkin spiced latte.
Acceptance: My body is beginning to adjust to the sudden changes in my caffeine intake. Though I still think I am more so in the depression stage of grief, I feel myself leaning towards acceptance. I have accepted that I just cannot live without coffee. It simply cannot be done. Maybe I’ll end up in counseling. But first, coffee.