What is Becoming? An achievement, a result or a never-ending journey? Michelle Obama, in her bestselling book ‘Becoming’, defines it as a forward motion and a way to reach a better self. The journey does not end. Becoming requires patience and rigour. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that more growing is to be done. Here are a few things she teaches us about a journey of becoming.
Walk your own walk
Try to live in your own skin. Find it hard? WALK. Literally, WALK in the park, mountains, with your own pace, with your own style. Tired? Take a break and keep walking. You cannot define yourself by looking at others. Give the moment to figure out who you want to be, how you want to shape your life and not how the rest of the world wants you to live, to be, and to think. As Michelle said, ‘unfolding and understanding of who you are, it is a journey of Becoming.’
Am I good enough? Yes, I am.
There is always a voice of self-doubt in your head questioning each and every aspect of your life: Are you working hard enough? Are you smart enough? Are you good enough? The answer should be ‘Yes, I am’. Try to believe in yourself, keep a journal and create a habit of writing down your achievements and improvements. Be grateful for them and never think less of yourself. Remember, you deserve it all!
Marriage ain’t easy
Marriage is hard, raising family is hard, it all takes energy. You cannot quit the moment it gets hard. It is a naturally hard thing to do to build life together. Relationships are naturally prone to fluctuations. Feelings can go away at the hardest times, but if you look at your SO, and know why you are with them, you are full of respect and value and no matter what, you like your SO – you are on the right track. Just remember to define your happiness in marriage by good times, not hard times.
Build your own happiness
Be responsible for your own happiness. You do not date, marry, have kids etc so that they make you happy. No one can make you happy. Stop focusing on what people around you make for you and start focusing on how to have a life that you want with or without these people in it. Define yourself to yourself. Sounds tough, huh? Seek professional help, sometimes we need to reflect on certain life moments and have an objective person listening to us, to help us to reflect on who we are. Face your biggest fears and start loving yourself for the person you are now, without being too harsh on yourself. At the end of the day you are perfect, and you should believe in it.
Embrace your life and dive into an ever-lasting journey of becoming.
Resources:
Michelle Obama Becoming, 2018