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How I’m Dealing With a Breakup My Freshman Year of College

The so-called “season of heartbreak” just passed, since many couples had to part ways, especially high school sweethearts going into college. But in my case, long distance wasn’t the problem for me and my ex-boyfriend.

Him realizing that he was slowly falling out of love with me is one of the most gut-wrenching and heart-shattering things I have ever heard in my entire life. And to experience someone losing feelings for me all over again hurts even more considering that he was my first boyfriend of almost four years. I lost the person I thought I’d be with forever, experiencing college with this person, one of my reasons for waking up each day, and more.

While I do understand that many people deal and cope with heartbreak differently, I am definitely learning how to navigate my way through this period of pain and emotional turmoil. Frankly, the pain does not even stop on an emotional level, because there are times where it transforms into physical, heavy burdens and sharp pains in my chest. On top of that, my mental health has been depleting at a steady rate, but I am trying to do what is best for myself in terms of feeling better and moving on. Though, there are the occasional “stalking sessions” I am not proud of, but who hasn’t stalked their ex or someone they know in their life? 

Anyways, I know I am not alone when going through a breakup. Funny enough, well not exactly funny, but more of a sad coincidence, I know a few couple of friends who are also dealing with a breakup at the moment, even some YouTubers too. Point is, I know I shouldn’t isolate myself from those who really care about me, and I have tried reaching out to a friend going through the same thing I am. It gives me a chance to be vulnerable to the extent that I want to be when it comes to sharing my feelings, and I have someone else I can comfort and talk about similar issues with.

I just hope that anyone reading this who is going through a similar situation realizes that time will pass, and you won’t even know it. A month ago, I used to describe a day as being three days and I would plan out my life in minutes instead of hours or days. Well, it has almost been two months since we ended things, but even if these past two months have felt like the longest two months in my life, it surprises me at how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go. Everyone around me tells me that “time will heal me”, but while I do wish for time to move a little more quickly, a lot has changed since what happened. I changed as well.

Good luck to anyone going through something similar, because in the end, we will be okay no matter how hard it is to imagine something positive in this very moment of heartache.

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