The Importance of Being Honest (With Yourself)

Oscar Wilde’s iconic play The Importance of Being Earnest is anything but earnest. The characters find themselves consistently playing with their identities and fabricating the truth. Though one may read or watch the play and think that they would never do what the characters do, this is not the case. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of having imposter syndrome, especially in unfamiliar environments in which your independence is being tested, like at college. 

Approaching my semester abroad, I felt the same anxieties that I did when starting university back home. I didn’t have any friends and I didn’t know what I was doing. So, I wrote. Poems, diary entries, letters, and songs. I wrote anything and everything that I possibly could. I spent alone time being honest with myself and getting in touch with my feelings, which I believe to be one of the most important skills a person can ever develop. 

Everyone is a good writer. No matter where they come from or where they’ve started, every single person has the capacity to write something good. I find it therapeutic to write, as do many people. When I’m in a situation where I am rendered speechless, the written word is my only escape. I’ve kept a diary almost every year since 2015, starting when I was just 9 years old. Unsurprisingly, my writing style has changed, as have my qualms. My first entry was written in a fluffy purple diary with an owl embroidered on the front, just before a big shopping trip to the local mall with my best friend. The same best friend bought me my next diary, decorated with a rainbow llama, in which I documented my first major crush and wrote every name in code.

Flicking through page upon page, more milestones are recorded. My childhood “boyfriend”, getting my braces on, the pandemic, multiple holidays, making new friends, my first kiss, and grief. Between it all, I see growth, change and a future version of me laughing whilst recounting her teenage years. Dear future Emily reading this…. I get to look back on all of these now with the experience that I’ve gained. The best part of all of my diaries is the fact that I am completely and utterly honest in every single entry. There is nowhere for me to hide or lie, because no one is reading these but myself. Though graphic details may be cringeworthy to read, they are all important and part of who I am.

My poetry and song lyrics have been there for me in a similar way. It is cathartic to be able to put adjectives to emotions. Unlike diary entries, I can play with the truth in creative writing. Lying in a diary would be lying to myself. Any writer will tell you that they have taken elements from their lives and incorporated them into their words. But the beauty of poetry is the fact that it can be interpreted in any way. There is nothing special in particular about the words on the page, rather, it is how the writer intends, and how the reader or listener understands. Sometimes, these two can contradict, but then again, creative writing does not have a singular, correct answer. Nor does it have to be difficult to produce.

Similar to diaries, I find letter writing to be a lost art. When I write letters to myself, my intention is to ask questions and provide love, in order to see how far I’ve come from that day or that period of time. It is a moment of personal reflection. I see goals that I have set up for myself and am honest as to whether or not these have been achieved. Sometimes they have, sometimes not. Some of my hopes never change and I can read them throughout my letters. They ultimately correspond with my diaries, but I don’t question in a diary, I simply feel. In a diary, I spill out every thought. In a letter, I keep my thoughts contained and focus on affirmation instead. To open up an envelope with words from my younger self is the motivation I need to remember that life always gets better.

Why am I writing about writing? I talk about it enough in real life. Self-image is one of the most important traits in a person. If you don’t truly understand your thoughts and feelings, if you push them away instead of taking time to know them, you begin to push others away too. To be confident, aware and emotionally in touch is difficult, but once you find your way towards this deeply honest pathway, life may start to feel somewhat easier. 

• diary
• mental health
• writing