There’s more to self-love than doing face masks and drinking extra water. Throughout your life you will experience the fading of friendships and relationships, but you’ll always have yourself. Take that in for a moment. YOU are the only person that you will have forever. From the very beginning to the very end; just you and you.
That’s why it’s so important that you love yourself like no one else can. Think of it this way: you’re in a long-term relationship with yourself. I know, I know commitment ugh… But honestly, self-love needs to be viewed like the relationship you have with your best friend, or family member, or partner. There are going to be ups and downs; fights and forgiveness; moments of pure joy and moments of absolute heartbreak. Now, relationships are not easy, they require a lot of effort and attention. But this is YOU we’re talking about. The person who’s been there and will be there forever. So don’t put yourself on the back burner.
It’s time to view your relationships with yourself as #1 (and no that’s not a selfish thing to do). Yes drinking extra water is awesome for your health, yes you should try to get more sleep, and yes you should feel confident posting that selfie on Instagram. These are all things you should do because you love yourself. But there’s so much more to it. Your relationship with yourself is a lot like best-friendships or serious relationships. They involve loyalty, honesty, support, forgiveness and so much love. Now think back to how you treat yourself. Are you loyal to yourself? Or do you find yourself looking at other girls and wishing you had something they do, or something more like theirs? Be loyal to yourself. Love yourself the way you want your best friend to love herself. Be honest with yourself too in regards to your feelings and mood. Don’t shove your emotions aside or try to make excuses as to why you’re acting and feeling the way you are. Be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and accept it.
Having an off day? That’s ok, we have those, but acknowledge it and do what you have to do in response to that. Maybe you need a nap, maybe you need to get out of the house, maybe you need to put the homework away for the night, or maybe you need to cut that toxic person out of your life. Whatever it is, do it for the betterment of yourself. Listen to yourself too, your mind, heart and body. If something is the matter with any of those listen to what’s causing you to feel unsettled.
For instance, if your body has been feeling off pay attention to how you’re using and abusing it. Maybe you’re depriving yourself of some good sleep or essential vitamins. However our bodies show physical symptoms when something is wrong, whereas monitoring out mental health is more difficult. Find something that helps you de-stress or even mentally escape from reality for a moment. Meditation, journaling, cooking, even simple things like painting your nails can bring you some peace. Or maybe something is weighing on your conscience. In that case, acknowledge what it is; think and feel it through or even talk to someone about it. Know that your mental and physical health overlap, so both should be taken care of at all times! Lastly, learn to forgive yourself. The feeling of guilt or regret is one of the heaviest weights on the soul; know that you hold the power to free yourself. Mistakes happen and will keep happening, big and small. Sometimes they seem unbearable, and sometimes you may hurt someone you really care about, but you have to learn to forgive yourself before others can forgive you. Someone can forgive you but until you forgive yourself you will continue to carry that weight. Although self-forgiveness is extremely challenging it offers a sense of freedom for your soul.
Loving yourself is not greedy or selfish. It’s giving yourself the respect and attention you need. Trust me, forgetting to put yourself first happens easily, especially when you have that friend drama and those papers due and no one to cover your shift- I get it. Life is crazy, fun, unpredictable, hard, beautiful and most of all, too short. So take care of yourself for the journey. Learn to love yourself and treat yourself right. Love and accept your body, your mind and heart. Not every pair of pants fits me either. Sometimes I do wish I looked more like Kayla Itsines. Some days I wish certain little things didn’t bug me. But I am who I am. No one will have been with me for as long as I have been with myself. Like I said, relationships are hard. But this one is really worth the effort. In the words of Kanye West, love yourself like Kanye loves Kanye.