Navigating a relationship can be difficult, especially if you are new to it. Making difficult decisions can be emotionally tasking, but what do you do when the big question pops up?
What do you do when your partner asks for sex and you’re a virgin?
UNDERSTAND
What does virginity mean to you? Virginity could mean a lot of things to different people. Understanding what it means to you would make this decision much easier for you. Many people think penis-in-vagina is the only way your virginity can be lost, but what about those people who haven’t had the ‘penis-in-vagina sex’ or who were forced into sex the first time and feel that they didn’t ‘lose their virginities’? Honestly, virginity is a word that means a lot of things to a lot of people. Find out what it means to you and see if you care about it because some people don’t.
THINK
Think about what you really want from your partner or relationship. Is the relationship a long term one or a quick fling? Do they mean a lot to you or or are they just a good friend with good benefits? What exactly do you want to gain from this relationship and where do you want this relationship to go in the long run or the short run? This will help you in answering the big question.
SEE
Do you see red flags in the relationship? If you see that your virginity is something you want to share with that special someone, you have to pay attention to red flags. Do they really care for you? Do they only want sex? Are they talking to other people or having sex with other people because you aren’t ready? Are they pressuring you all the time? These are questions that help in determining red flags. You should make sure that you pay attention to red flags in your relationship.
LISTEN
What does your partner have to say about the question? What are your partner’s expectations? Although it is not your partner’s decision to make, how do they act when they bring up the question? Does he want to have a serious talk, or does he want to get it over with? If it’s special to you, you would want someone to treat it as special as you do. If they get really agitated, then you should probably take a few steps back because that’s about to be a red flag. Listening to your partner will help you decide if he is the one or not.
BREATH
No matter what decision you choose, understand that it is all up to you and no one should force you into doing what you don’t want to do. Take your time and don’t forget to breathe. Do not let your partner rush you because this is your life and your decision. You got this!