In our favourite songs, movies, and romances, there always seems to be reference to “the one that got away”. The love that didn’t last, or even have the chance to start, for mutually upsetting reasons.
The other night I was in a pub with my friend and two guys we had just met. The three of them were going over upsetting Hinge experiences and things they shouldn’t have opened DM’s with when all of a sudden the conversation wound up real serious… the topic at hand: Love.
It’s no surprise to me that the four of us were at a standstill in terms of our current relationship status, all of us just waiting for the right person and the right time, but what happens when the right person is swept away by unprecedented currents? Our first response is to romanticise the situation, filter it through existing media, like love songs and rom-coms (however those things usually turn out well), and have hope in the concept of love. But why is that?
Why do we label them as “the one that got away” when they’re just one of many passing ships? One of my friends was referring to this beautiful girl he met on holiday who would have been perfect had they lived in the same country at the same time, saying she was the one. Two seconds later he drunkenly gave the same title to a different girl things just didn’t work out with.
It seems the title isn’t exactly singular; we designate it to numerous situations that fit the description, but in doing this, we could devalue the idea in its entirety. They say “when you know, you know,” but if you truly believe everyone could be the love of your life, it doesn’t really apply, leaving you with all these sunken ships you have no choice but to cover with concrete and move on from.
It’s not that it’s an issue, having hope in something that was lost, but it’s fascinating… We put labels on every relationship, even the ones that don’t come to fruition, and though we complain about doing so, we can’t stop. Using labels like, ‘the one that got away,’ could be what keeps us going. Maybe we feel better about our current situations when we reflect positively on the past. Knowing there could’ve been a possible connection with someone feels better than doubting if you’ll ever have one at all.
Maybe “the one that got away” doesn’t have to apply to just one person or opportunity. Why don’t we cut our losses and look back in awe? Just because something didn’t align, doesn’t mean it never will, and the faith we put into what-ifs is sometimes what drives us to keep going. There’s no harm in hoping.