Friendships, nights out, game nights, dinner parties and summer holidays – these are the things many of us picture when we imagine university life. Before I moved away to start university, I had many grand schemes about the huge friend group I would surely amass the minute I arrived.
That was not the case.
I’m here to tell you that it’s okay not to have found a herd of forever friendships your first day. Friendships take time for some, and that’s completely normal. I remember being incredibly anxious about making friends; I was convinced that because I was shy, nobody would want to talk to me. But the beauty of Freshers week and starting uni fresh is that everyone is looking for friends, and there will be plenty of people who are just like you.
My biggest tip for being a friend-making-machine is to keep your mind open, say yes to as much as feels comfortable for you (I’m not saying go out all seven nights of Freshers week…that will not end well). There is such immense pressure when you arrive at uni to find your new best friend asap, but I know for me it takes time to get to know and feel comfortable around new people. Don’t be afraid to let people know that it takes you a little time to feel comfortable. It may help them understand you better.
One of my biggest worries was that when I arrived at my student accommodation I would feel completely alone. And I did. For about 5 minutes, until my new flatmate knocked on my door. I’m going to keep parroting this, but staying open really does make a difference. If I hadn’t said yes to my flatmate that night, there are a lot of people I never would have met. Your flatmates are built-in buddies; you may not be the exact same kind of people, but if you do get along, then they can become friends for life who you didn’t even have to look for.
For commuting students, it can feel even harder to make friends without the built-in flatmates. The same advice still applies to you; keep your mind open. Go to Freshers Fayres, tours and society taster sessions. Bonus points if the activity is something that you are passionate about or interested in; those who have similar interests are often more compatible.
Overall, try not to stress about making friends instantly. Like most good things in life, it will come with time. You’re not the only person feeling pressure to find your friend group, and every conversation is a step closer to finding your people. Good luck out there, and remember… have fun!