Name: Timothy James Black. Like the color.
Year: Same as everyone else. 2020.
Hometown: Marysville, PA. Technically it’s Rye Township, forgive.
Major/Minor: Political Science major with a Spanish and Writing minor.
Activities: Young Americans for Liberty, IAA, Writing Club, writing pretentious and angsty poetry, singing, dancing, attempting to be witty and flirtatious and utterly failing at both, video games, reading, watching Disney movies in Spanish, and table time. And finally, debating political issues in appropriate and civil settings.
Relationship Status: I think my complete lack of allure shot that horse in the face.
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw. Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure and wit is an Old English word for penis. Never date the geniuses; they never want to sleep.
Favorite Servo Cookie: Chocolate chip, I am the traditionalist.
Favorite Study Spot on Campus: Junction, may it rest in peace and be reborn from the ashes.
Favorite Color: Navy.
Favorite Cupcake Flavor: Chocolate. I’m a chocoholic. I get it from my dad.
Favorite Book: That’s a loaded question. *Incomprehensible groaning noises* Baring the novel I refuse to write that’s trapped in my head, The Year of the Flood.
Favorite Movie: White Christmas, it’s classic, but so often overlooked. But then again, what do I know about movies.
Favorite Music Genre: I fluctuate between post-grunge as in Theory of a Dead Man, punk rock as in AFI, and soft rock as in Goo Goo Dolls and the Fray, usually all from the 2000’s. Don’t make me choose between my babies.
Favorite TV Show: West Wing. Martin Sheen is basically my god. There are innumerable things I could quote from this TV show. “Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem.” To Hell with your punishments. To Hell with you!
Favorite Sport: Baseball.
Favorite Sports Team: Phillies.
Favorite Animal: Corgis are my favorite.
Favorite Ice Cream: Double dunker!
Favorite Season: Winter, cause I can brood inside and no one can judge me. Also, I hate the heat. I sunburn easily.
Favorite Tea: Mint.
If you could go anywhere where would you go and why?
Valencia, Spain. First of all, it’s beautiful. Second of all, it’s a historic space and I adore el Cid el Campeador. Plus, I get to watch the Aragonese try to split off from Spain, and that’s always fun.
What are the top three items on your bucket list?
I want to meet Margaret Atwood.
I wish to travel to all spots historically related to Mary, Queen of Scots.
I want to circumnavigate the world with my friends.
If you could have a meal with anyone from history or present day, who would you eat with and why?
My grandmother, because she died when I was really young and I only ever hear great things about her.
If you could have a meal with a fictional character, who would you eat with and why?
Aloth, from Pillars of Eternity. Because he’s hilarious and he’s my favorite character.
If you were a cupcake, what flavor would you be and why?
Funfetti, because I look bland, but I’m full of surprises.
If you were a dog breed, what breed would you be and why?
Corgi, because I’m yappy, small, and hilariously adorable. Also, people tend to either love me or hate me.
If you had unlimited money, what would you do and why?
I would immediately start investing in South America and slowly become a South American dictator. Because I think I know better than American foreign policy.
What is your favorite thing about Gettysburg and why?
Probably the food because I don’t stop eating and it is delicious.
What is one thing you hope to achieve while at Gettysburg?
I don’t like to make plans because the word premeditated likes to get thrown around in court.
What is the one thing you would change about the American Constitution and why?
I would ban political parties because I feel like especially in today’s world, everyone is so polarized and everyone sticks to party lines and what their parents say and they don’t think for themselves and it’s ridiculous to think that everyone can agree with a platform or two. People are more complex than that. Plus, no parties is less gridlock.
If you could tell a historical person one thing to try and change history, who would you try to help and why?
I would tell Mary, Queen of Scots not to go back to Scotland. First of all, she had the correct claim to England and second of all, it led to her death. Third of all, her death had no reason, it was all just religious bullcrap.
What does it take to write poetry?
The secret to writing poetry is to be an angsty pre-teen with a little bit of an old, pretentious asshole and a constant and utter flirt. AKA, be Jay Gatsby.
Final Comments: Good luck, don’t die. May the odds be ever in your favor. Don’t tickle a sleeping dragon. And disturb the universe.