The Key to Confidence

As a 20-something-year-old it is hard to find confidence within yourself daily. I have struggled with my self-esteem and lacking levels of confidence throughout my teenage years. It has taken me years to love and accept myself the way I am. This is for multiple reasons: I hated myself, my hair, how my eyes were not the same size, the color of my skin, and most of all the shape or lack of shape of my body. 

As I grow every day, I have begun to learn how to love myself. Confidence comes from within and cannot be phased by the people around you unless you want them to. Today, I will be sharing some tips that helped me find confidence within myself and helped me prosper in all aspects of my life.

1.    Confidence Comes from Within

Confidence can only be produced by you. Confidence is the belief that you have in yourself. I insist that you do what you want to do. If you want to dye your hair, do it. Cut your hair, do it. Whatever will make you happy at the moment is what matters. You must have an optimistic outlook on life if you want to believe in yourself and your abilities. Do not do something just because everyone else is, do not comply with the popular opinion if you do not want to. People believe your outer beauty is all that matters, but everyone has insecurities and confidence does not rely on how you look. A pimple on your face or a few pounds gained should not change how you view yourself, portray yourself to the world, or see your ability to succeed. So, shine from within, let your personality speak volumes. 

2.    Understand Your Emotions

Emotional intelligence is extremely important in gaining confidence and in life, in general. Understanding your own emotions will help you communicate your thoughts and motives to others in ways that cannot be misinterpreted. Everyone feels things and once you understand why you feel those certain ways and can articulate those feelings to yourself and others you begin to gain confidence in intellect as well as yourself. Being confident in your responses and thoughts show confidence and credibility to others.

3.    Wear What Makes You Feel Good

I know I said outer beauty does not define confidence, but we all know how we portray ourselves on the outside. It can help build confidence when you portray your inside on the outside. When we wear things that make us comfortable, we show confidence. So, find what you like to wear, how you like to dress, and what you do not like to wear. I believe style is a way to express yourself and it surely helps me cope through a lot of my emotions.  

4.    Pick up a Hobby That Helps You Express Yourself

Picking up a hobby you can do either alone or with others helps you feel productive and can lead to a confidence boost. Writing in a journal daily, drawing, painting, dancing, working out, or even picking up an instrument can help express yourself and release stress when needed. Working out and dancing in group fitness classes like Zumba helped me build my confidence. I started going to the gym being really shy and trying to stay in a corner where no one could see me, but over the year, I have become way more confident going to the gym and not caring about the people around me. Thanks to Zumba for motivating me to get out of my comfort zone and dance in front of other people who I believed help me be more comfortable in the gym in general. I also believe the gym made me more confident and not because I like how I look now (which is true), but because it helps me maintain a goal, see progress, and motivates me to do better in general for myself. 

5.    Do Not Compare Yourself

It is easy in a world where social media exists to not compare yourself, but you have to remember there is only one you. Do not compare yourself to anyone. Do not change your goals to compete with others around you, do not feel bad if another girl has a bigger butt or a smaller waist than you, and do not show weakness by showing jealousy. Just uplift others. Girls just need to support each other instead of making everything a competition. 

Lastly, I want to end this by saying it does not matter what size you wear, how clear your skin is, how much money is in your bank account, or the color of your skin that represents your worthiness of loving yourself and being comfortable in your skin. Some people feel their most confident in a red lip and dramatic eyeliner while others feel most confident in sweatpants with a bag of Cheetos, but nothing is different. In a world where social media influences girls to look and act a certain way, you need to know you do not have to. Be yourself and do what makes you happy. Confidence comes from within and everyone is deserving of confidence. Please love yourself and remember there is no other you. Loving yourself is a lifelong journey and you rather start to love yourself now than when it is too late. Be kind to yourself and others.