We all have those weeks. The ones with a test on Monday, pop-quizzes on Wednesday, another test on Friday, and not to mention the online quizzes due Friday at 5 p.m., the discussion posts due Wednesday at 5 p.m. with comments due Friday at 5 p.m. The meetings on Wednesday nights, library study sessions Sunday and Wednesday night that does not get me home until 2 a.m. Let’s not forget about work on Thursday nights and I still try to go to the gym, cook dinner, hang out with my boyfriend, my friends, write this article, or even just try to relax and do a face mask.
Today is Thursday, I cried, I broke down for the first time in a while. I was in the middle of a coffee shop across from my boyfriend when suddenly the smell of coffee and tea overwhelmed my senses, the music in my headphones became too loud, the brightness of my laptop became unbearable, I started to sweat, and the table became the pillow I would cry into when I was overwhelmed with drama in high school. I had hit my breaking point.
I have always tried to do my best in being my idea of a perfect student, daughter, girlfriend and it just became too much for the moment. I immediately went home crying as my boyfriend drove and then again in my bed minutes later after I thought I was okay.
How do we get through these moments?
I can say we all will go through one of these breakdowns at some point in our college career and we all get through them differently. Being stressed-out, tired, pretending to be okay to everyone, but predicting your failures in private. It is not the best mindset to be in and we cannot stay there, and it should not be welcomed.
I can say I am an ambitious student. One who is always striving for A’s, trying to master the material and become a helping hand for friends and peers. I put my all into my work. I strive to challenge and surprise myself in anything I put my mind to. So, what did I do to get through this?
I cried. It opened my mind. It all started when I could not brainstorm an idea of what to write about that would challenge me this week. I ended up breaking down thinking about all the things I did not do, “could not” do and what I was doing wrong. Then it hit me… Talk about this moment, my struggles, my worries. Sometimes you just need to let it out and it is okay to cry and not to always be the person that has it all together. As much as I am a stereotypical proud Sagittarius that does not like to show their intimate emotions I needed to vent and clear my mind.
Soon after, I had some time to relax and to start writing about the situation. I realized sometimes I am so judgmental of myself when I do not mean to be. I try and say I am just trying to strive for improvement by not accepting something perfectly okay but then bashing it. For example, I wanted an A on my first test for one of my class and achieved an 88. When people asked about it, I was upset because I expected better of myself. Those two points really hurt me … it sounds stupid, but that is the best way to describe my feeling towards those two points. I realized that is not healthy for my mentality. I should be striving for improvement, but always proud of my accomplishments and that should be a mentality for anyone that has a habit of putting themselves down whether that be for academics, a skill you are trying to master, or even the gym.
In the end, when my worries vanished after writing, my ideas came flowing. I figured out an obvious thing to write for a press release in one of my classes and what to write an article about. I enjoyed a stress-free moment before work and proceeded to finish all my assignments on Friday. Not to mention I still had time to write this article, go to the gym, and get a very much needed mani/pedi.
I hope this helps guide anyone with a similar problem. It is hard to always be the person you project on the world, but it is okay, and you will get through it. Bring peace into your life and destress when needed, keep a positive mindset, and you know what? It is okay to cry, to vent, and share your worries with someone or even just your notebook when needed.
I would like to end say: I hope you improve but always be proud of what you accomplished.