Why I’m Not Looking Forward to the Holidays

Halloween is finally over, which means it’s time to pull out the garland and Christmas lights because the holidays are finally here. During this time of year, millions of people are filled with joy as the season approaches since it’s the time to celebrate friends, family and love. But for me, it just seems like any other day.Via Giphy

I already know what you all may be think, “Why be such a Grinch during the holidays? Everyone loves Christmas!”

Well for me, Christmas has not felt the same since I was 12, and especially this year, it won’t be any better.

After I got a certain age, my family got really lazy with the gift giving. I would usually only get money that they thought I would spend on my own Christmas gifts, when in reality, I just spent it on dumb things like food.

Decorating started to feel like a task more than it felt a choice. My mom is crazy about the holidays and she attempts to try to overdo it with the Christmas tree decorations every year. Once I got to high school, I HATED decorating the tree or putting up lights because it wasn’t something I really cared about. I felt as if I had better things to do. Until this day, I wouldn’t even mind if we didn’t put up a tree, but living in my mother’s house, it’s a requirement.

Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner is even worse. It feels like an interrogation session every year.

“What are your grades like?”

“What’s your major again?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Here’s an exact visual representation of what my face looks like: Via Giphy

But in all seriousness, the main thing that’s going to bother me this holiday season is not having my grandmother around. This summer, I unfortunately lost her to cancer, and as I think about the upcoming holiday season, it’s just going to be so weird without her there. She was the rock of my family and brought us all together, but this year it won’t be the same.

So ‘ba humbug to the holiday season. One day I’ll eventually get my Christmas spirit back.