6 Things I’ve Learned In 6 Months of Marriage

My husband and I have officially been newlyweds for half of a year! I realized we have learned a lot about ourselves and marriage over the last six months. It’s been an exciting time learning and growing together, but also very challenging. After reflecting back on the last few months, I thought I would share some of the lessons we’ve learned so far.

1. You don’t have to like the same things

This may seem obvious, but once you’re married and living together, you spend a lot of time with your spouse. I thought that we needed to do everything together since we were together. However, I found that this gave the opposite reaction. The more time you spend together, the more important it is to have your own interests and hobbies. For instance, some of our favorite nights are when we’re sitting on the couch together while my husband is playing video games and I’m watching YouTube videos. It allows us to enjoy being with each other, but still lets us do our own thing. It is important to remember that you are still two different people.

2. Learning to live together takes time

Merging two completely different lives is not easy. Between trying to agree on the decorations or chores, you’re bound to run into problems. However, this forced us to confront our issues and communicate well enough to reach a conclusion. It’s hard to adjust to at first, but overtime we fell into a rhythm and figured out what worked best for us.

3. Your relationships with friends will change

The first few months after the wedding, I was really struggling with feeling excluded. When all of your friends are single, it’s difficult for them to relate to someone who’s married. This led me to feeling sad and left-out for a while, but I tried to understand the situation from a different perspective. I realized that this was bound to happen and I just needed to make the best of it. I’ve been enjoying alone time more and am embracing where I’m at in life, even if it’s different from my friends.

Related: Looking Back on My Wedding, One Month Later  

4. Saying sorry is more important than being right

It’s true what everyone says, fighting and arguing is inevitable. But one thing we have both learned is that even if you are right, it’s not worth making your partner sad or upset just to prove a point. I’ve had to learn to stop trying to be right all the time and realize that my relationship is more important than some dumb argument.

5. Quality time is crucial

Since I am now living with my spouse, the amount of time we are together on a daily basis has increased significantly. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean the time we’re together is quality time. It’s easy to fall into a routine and lose the connection you had before. I found that carving out a specific time for us to just talk, without any distractions, has really improved our relationship.

6. Appreciate every day  

It’s easy to focus on the future and what you your next goal is, but it’s important to appreciate how far you’ve come as a couple. I remember when we used to dream of living together in our own apartment and dying to get married. Now, we finally have all those things and it’s everything we imagined and more. Even after a hard day of work and classes, coming home to my husband still makes me giddy. Knowing that he’s always by my side makes me feel like I can overcome any challenge life throws my way.

Photo courtesy of the author

 

I’m sure that we’ll learn a lot more in the years to come, but for now, we’re just going to continue soaking in the newlywed life. Have a great semester, collegiettes!