It Takes a Village, and Then Some
Just last week I found myself stranded on the side of the road because my car went out on me. I was driving back to school with my girlfriend and all of a sudden my car decided it was time to start smoking (bad habit by the way). After pulling over and getting out of the car, we waited on the side of the road until help arrived–my dad.
To our surprise, not only did my dad show up, but our family friend Tony did as well. Without hesitation they both stopped what they were doing to come help me. The embodiment of “it takes a village” was standing in some random person’s driveway in the middle of nowhere, because I needed help.
Reciprocity is not new. It has been around since the dawn of time. You do this for me, and in return, I’ll do this for you. Humans aren’t the only mammals who do this, either. Many animals have developed relationships like this as well. Reciprocity is what makes the world go round. It has morphed into something more than that though.
Living by “it takes a village” means that you will do something just because. You check on someone, just because. You buy someone a coffee, just because. You drop everything you’re doing to help someone stranded, just because. Being present in someone’s life is support just because. You don’t have to always expect something back in order to be an important figure in someone’s life.
Showing up is one way to show support. This could be attending your friends and family members events like concerts or sports games. It could be picking someone up from the airport or giving them a ride to a job interview. It doesn’t have to be planned either. If you know someone had a bad day you could swing by their house just to give them a hug. Even showing up in the case of an emergency is just as important.
Providing support doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Text your friends and ask how their exam went. Wish your family members good luck on their first day of a new job. Being present verbally through remembering and check-ins is a wonderful way to stay present in someone’s life and to show that you care!
How often is it that you see something and think of a certain person? I do that all of the time. I see a video online and immediately think of a friend. I see a loved one’s favorite color and their face comes to mind. My phone will also feature old photos of people to remind me of old memories. Send the video or picture to that person to let them know they are on your mind!
If you’re running errands and a friend mentioned needing something, pick it up! Call a friend and ask if they need anything from the store. If you see a trinket that your friend would like, consider buying it for them just because! You don’t always have to spend money to ensure the friendship sticks, but it is nice to be thought of in a capacity like that.
“It takes a village” doesn’t just apply to life changing events. The smallest things matter, wins or losses. Supporting your people, whether you’re physically present or not, is how you build your village.