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Have you ever wanted to download a virtual best friend? This isn’t the article for you. 

The Desktop Goose is your new virtual friend who lives on your desktop and doesn’t pay rent created by Sam Chiet earlier this year. Chiet was inspired to create the goose after the video game Untitled Goose Game became wildly popular last year. The game itself is all about playing as a goose with one goal in mind: create as much chaos as humanly (goosely?) possible. 

The Desktop Goose comes with a similar goal, but instead of you helping the goose create chaos, it now brings the chaos to you. It wishes to cause you pain one honk at a time. This tiny annoyance that now lives on my desktop is completely free, but there are options on the download website to donate to Chiet’s creation if you feel so inclined. 

Related: Untitled Goose Game is a Must-Have for Every Type of Gamer

Now, you may be wondering, “What does the goose do? Why is it an agent of chaos? It can’t be that bad!”

It’s that bad. 

Chiet himself describes the goose’s chaos on the download page as such: “He'll nab your mouse, track mud on your screen...  leave you a message, deliver you memes? Play video games with a desktop buddy who will attack you if you poke him. Fill out spreadsheets while your screen fills up with instances of Goose Notepad.”

If you decide for yourself that you want to download Desktop Goose, you’ll find out that this little monstrosity of pixelated feathers is customizable! The customization tab comes up when you click on the goose’s application file and will let you change the goose and it features different colors! In the tab, you’ll also find options to “open memes folder” and “open notes folder”. Opening said folders will let you add your own custom messages and memes for the goose to bring you. 

(Excuse me as I go put a bunch of pictures of people yelling at me to do my homework in the memes folder.)

Since the goose only came out in January and recently got an update adding new features, I’d say this certainly isn’t the final version of Desktop Goose. Chiet also has a Discord server set up that he’s thanked on multiple occasions for helping him come up with features and ideas for the goose, so I’m sure that there’s plenty of discussion on new features for Desktop Goose in the works there.

I think as an overall conclusion, Desktop Goose has been both the largest blessing and greatest curse to ever grace my computer screen. When I am in times of need, it brings me words of encouragement. When I just want to sit in my room watching Youtube, it interrupts my videos with unwelcome memes. 

Despite these facts, have I uninstalled Desktop Goose? Hell no. 

Do I disable the goose from time to time? Yes, but I always bring it back, because sometimes, you really just need a goose to spice up your computer screen in ways you’d never think of yourself. 

Jane Grosskopf

George Mason University '21

Jane Grosskopf is a senior at George Mason University majoring in creative writing with a double minor in Middle East studies and journalism. Outside of writing, Jane plays clarinet in the Green Machine Pep Band, and serves as Vice President of Membership for the Mu Omicron chapter of Kappa Kappa Psi, an honorary music service fraternity.
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