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From Fling to Friends: A Guy’s Reaction

Let’s just be friends- and by friends, I actually mean, “Please don’t hate me”. Getting over a fling can be one of the hardest things that we go through, especially when we’re the ones ending it. The timeless idea of friendship is one we, as a gender, turn to in times such as these. The problem with these four little words is that they carry an array of emotions and messages that most guys just can’t pick up on. The reaction you get to this statement is never going to be a good one. Regardless of how he may play it off, to hear that they’re no
longer wanted is a massive blow to a man’s ego; and the ego is the essence to the inner workings of a man. Everything a guy does is directly related to his ego. By telling him you no longer want to hook up with him, you’re literally punching him in his emotional --please excuse my language-- nutsack. Most guys can’t go from looking at you and wanting to jump your bones, to sitting at Starbucks with you and your buds discussing the finale of Entourage like it’s no big deal. If you are sure that you’re done with your ‘relationship’, stand tall and do what feels right. Now, I believe there are three basic reactions that a guy will have to you saying, “Listen. We need to talk. This isn’t working for me...but let’s be friends?”

The Understanding Guy

This guy will be the easiest to talk to. He’ll nod, understandingly. He’ll oblige, understandingly. He’ll give you a hug, understandingly. He’ll wave to you when he sees you. It will all happened in a very civil manner, but the awkwardness that remains is everlasting. Everlasting, in this case, can mean a few months, maybe a year. The chemistry you had will never be the same, but the important thing is that you both make an effort to be somewhat constant and friendly. He’ll obviously be hurt on the inside-- no one likes rejection. But it won’t be impossible for you two to see each other in social situations. Maybe even have dinner together if your two groups of friends meet up.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

The second you break it off, this is the guy who will mass text all his bros some sort of ridiculous lie to make you look like a overly promiscuous idiot. He’ll be so offended that you ended whatever you had going that the only way that he can cope is to off your reputation. He’ll get creative and make up borderline hilarious stories. He’ll exaggerate and if you confront him about it, he’ll brush it off like it’s no big deal and lie straight to your face. He
puts on the facade that he doesn’t care that it’s over. He may even pretend he’s over the moon that you ended it before he did because he never liked you that much anyway. But the mere fact that he’s putting in so much effort into bringing you down is a tell tale sign that this kid is looking for revenge. The best way to deal with this kind of guy is to ignore him and set the record straight. Avoid letting the circumstance snowball into a straight out hatred, but stand your ground to make sure that your reputation is honest and kept in tact.

The One That Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
He simply does not understand what you are saying. He hears you, but he refuses to accept it. This guy is persistent and emotional. He will cry. He will scream outside of your window at four in the morning. He’ll go on and claim that he’s in love with you. That you’re the one. That twenty years from now, he’ll be thinking about what you are doing at that very moment. He’s desperate- he will call you, run into you, come find you, only to talk in circles for hours about how he can’t live with you. He’s acting absolutely crazy, and it’s freaking you out. You’ll feel guilty for hurting someone that you do (kind of) care about, but the situation he may put you in can really hurt you. Remember to be strong and not let Mr. Crazy guide your choices or decisions. Don’t keep him around because you feel bad the longer you let him linger, the later he’ll get over you. The best thing you could do for him is to end it before it becomes serious. The sooner you end it, the less attached he is and the faster he can begin the healing process.

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