My experience after growing up bisexual in a town that was not very accepting.
I am bisexual. My pronouns are she/they. My home town is more than a bit homophobic. I think we all see where this is going. Of course, warning for homophobic content.
I was not raised by homophobic people. However, they wanted to keep me “innocent” for as long as possible. Part of that was making it so I was never taught about the LGBTQ+ community. Now, many say that if people are not exposed to it at a young age, they will be straight. Well, while I did see it on TV, it was not really “pushed” at me till I was in 7th grade … in my own dreams and thoughts. From that, through lots of reflection, research, inner self hatred and watching many things … for the plot, I learned that I am bisexual. Also, before you say anything, I have always been bi, it just took me a while to realize it because I was unaware.
Personally, I did not really come out until the first day of college. Some people knew, but college changed that. I watched queer people in grade school hide out of fear, noticed that it was more acceptable to say “I’m homophobic” than “I’m gay,” heard people say slurs and make terrible jokes, was made aware of people labeling other’s sexuality, including mine. With all this going on, even freshman year when I knew my sexuality, I hid, terrified of what would happen to me. Of course, I had some family things too keeping me closeted, but that’s a story for a different article.
Going to Geneseo changed it all. There is a Pride Alliance, Safe Zone, an LGBTQ+ lounge and orientation things geared towards LGBTQ+ identifying people. It was terrifying. I remember within one of the first weeks I grabbed a bi pride flag and shoved it in my bag. I brought it back to my room and stared at it. I no longer had to hide. I mean obviously I will have to deal with homophobia and biphobia, but not as much. I felt okay. I put that on my desk. My straight roomate but didn’t even stare.
The real reason I wanted to write this piece was to help. I hated myself more when I learned my sexuality. I thought I would be hated for it forever. but I know that isn’t true anymore. I have found people that accepted it. My family members that know accept it, or at least are learning to, I think (if so, know that that means a lot <3). So to any insecure closeted baby gays, please know you will find acceptance. It might take years and work, but I promise you will find it. Focus on accepting yourself and the rest will fall into place. Don't forget to try and work to love yourself, even if they don't. Especially if they don't. Cause, screw them!
