Academia Out of Context, Part Two: Electric Boogaloo

As we have all learned, professors can say some pretty interesting things. We had so much fun writing the first part of this series that we just had to do it again.


Below are more of our favorite quotes from professors taken completely out of context, again!


"Knighthoods don't carry as much weight as they used to. Like, Elton John and Sean Connery are knights and I'm not afraid of Elton John. I'm afraid of his music though."
“Judicious hooker, honorable hooker.”
“Dang it, I really wanted to have sex today ... guess I’ll go out to the quad and write a poem instead.”
“She realizes because she doesn’t have a penis so she’ll need a substitute, and that substitute is going to be a baby.”
“So many people died from it. There’s pictures of just coffins stacked 20 high in Manhattan ... wow, the fun never stops in this class!”
“I don’t know about you, but the last time I went camping I brought food with me. I didn’t expect nature just to give me shit.”
“I have a student in my African Politics class who wears a tie every Wednesday and Friday … I think it has something to do with the crows …”
"Pine trees are gay all year long. That's why you have such a gay old time at Christmas. Come on, tinsel is the gayest thing ever."
“If Neil Degrasse Tyson was alive in 1350 he’d be burning witches!”
“All my friends are depressed! I’m depressed! Not really. I’m very happy. I really am. Stop looking at me like that.”
“His spirit is obviously his semen.”
“She didn’t come to class today, I’m gonna punish the bitch.”
“Doing gay stuff is okay!”
“My son watches shit youtubers.”
“To watch Beijing Opera, you all should turn the sound off, put on some rock music and smoke some weed.”
“Some of you in here might be really rich … good for you.”
“No offense to the South … actually offense to the South.”
“Two years ago they banned me from saying the word neoliberal at home.”
“This dude is really only interested in chopping off heads.”
“It’s round and soft because breasts.”

Professors are quite interesting people...


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