Thanksgiving and Christmas time are marked with festivities, family, and an uncomfortable amount of propaganda that holidays are more enjoyable with a partner. Surrounded by college students, most of whom are experiencing the ‘honeymoon’ phase of relationships, it can feel isolating and uncomfortable to be single during the holidays. We’re going to tackle this issue in two ways: by first explaining why being in a relationship during the holidays may not be all sunshine and rainbows, and then by exploring some fun ways to celebrate the seasons while you are single!
SCHEDULES ARE ALREADY HECTIC DURING THE HOLIDAYS
There are few busier times than the end of October through the beginning of January. Between classes, friends, family, travel, and rest, there are not many moments to easily squeeze into a relationship. Oftentimes, a relationship during the holidays comes at the cost of time with friends or (most likely for college students) sleep. Both people in a relationship need to sacrifice and make time for the other, so it is far less glamorous than in the holiday movies. If you are a stressed, busy person during the holidays, you can utilize your extra free time to pour into a holiday activity or watch some classic movies. People in relationships often lament how they did not use their free time well while they were single and that they miss those moments now. So don’t wish for the next thing; use your free time now to enjoy the holiday however you want!
IT HURTS WORSE TO SETTLE
There can be a lot of pressure to just find someone, anyone for the holidays! It doesn’t have to last forever, it’ll just feel good to not be lonely during the holidays, right? Spending intentional time with a person builds an emotional connection, so the argument that it is meant to be a short-term, no-stakes relationship is already finished. Furthermore, clinging to a person just to escape loneliness does not erase that feeling. Spending the holidays with someone you are not truly interested in can only lead to regret when looking back. It will be better for your emotional investment and heart to spend the holidays with someone you truly care about rather than someone to help you forget your loneliness.
SITUATIONSHIPS ARE EXHAUSTING
Situationship is a word that unfortunately has become typical in the realm of modern dating. Most situationships include any or all of the following: a guy love-bombing then ghosting, a guy leading a girl on while affirming their friendship, or a guy ending a relationship to “work on himself.” This is not meant to be an exhaustive list but just to set some examples of what I mean by situationship. It takes up time and mental energy, so ignore all the ‘maybes’ and ‘somedays’ to pursue relationships that are here and now. If there are no solid prospects on the horizon, then don’t waste time justifying the actions of boys dragging their feet. There are so many activities to do during the holidays, so let those fun times take up mental energy!
We all feel like that quote from Pride and Prejudice sometimes: “I’ve no money and no prospects, I’m already a burden to my parents.” But that is not the feeling we want to dwell in during the holiday season. This time is meant to be enjoyed by everyone, and there are plenty of ways to enjoy it with your girls or even by yourself!
DAY TRIP TO SEE THE LEAVES
One of the best medicines for feeling single is spending time with your girlfriends! As Gracie Abrams once sang, why waste time on mediocre men when “not one of them is cooler than all my friends?” With cooler weather on the horizon, grab a group of girls and drive up to hike in some seasonal nature! Some of the best locations are Sedona, Flagstaff, and Williams.
CHRISTMAS LIGHT LOOKING
As Christmas creeps closer, there are so many seasonal activities for friend groups, and Christmas light-looking is always a top contender. You can find popular Christmas light streets with just a quick web search. Buy some hot chocolate with your friends and walk or drive through a neighborhood lit up with holiday lights!
COZY BOOK READ NIGHT
While booking reading nights can also be a group activity, this is a relaxing activity that you can do all by yourself. Buy your favorite coffee or seasonal drink, and take some intentional time to read a good book. If you want to make this more of an event, you can turn on some twinkle lights in your room, light a few holiday-scented candles, turn on some ambient music, and wrap yourself in a warm blanket!
COZY MOVIE NIGHT WITH TAKEOUT
This is one of my favorite ways to spend some time relaxing during the holidays. Rather than being bound by the preferences of a friend or partner, you are in control of movie night! Choose your favorite takeout restaurant and order some delicious food! Turn on your favorite movie, and spend a few hours just existing peacefully and not overthinking about life. Most holiday movies are very feel-good, so you can never go wrong turning on a classic to enjoy a moment of peace and quiet by yourself.
It may feel isolating at times to be without a partner during the holidays, but there is no reason why that should make the holiday any less enjoyable! In all honesty, the holidays to spend completely by yourself are most likely limited in number, so take the time now to spend the season your way!