Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Important Talks To Have With Your Partner From A Married Couple

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at GCU chapter.

In the early stages of a relationship we enter into a honeymoon phase, a period of time when everything is happy-go-lucky. Time spent with your special person is filled with laughs and intimacy, but the honeymoon phase is exactly that: a phase.

Once this honeymoon phase of the relationship is over, how do we stay in love with our partner? The answer is simple: respark the passion. The most common reasons relationships fail are lack of trust, poor communication, and a difference in priorities.

Here are five important conversations to have to get to know your partner, encourage open communication, and inspire romance.

1. Sex and intimacy

Sex can be a very uncomfortable subject, especially when it comes to protection and health, but having this conversation with your partner is the foundation for a better sex life and an overall healthier relationship. Open communication will increase intimacy, bringing you closer emotionally and making physical touch more pleasurable.

Some key points to discuss include:

  • How you and your partner each prefer to start intimacy
  • Openness to experimentation
  • How often you and your partner prefer to have intimacy
  • Preferred form of protection
  • History

2. Work and Money

Couples who do not discuss money and budgeting tend to place themselves at a greater risk for failure. Money is a very sensitive topic and can lead to many conflicts if you and your partner are not financially compatible.

Here are a few tips to help you and your partner get started on this conversation:

  • Go on a shopping trip together to learn about what your partner values and how they make buying decisions
  • Discuss long-term goals
  • Ask about credit cards
  • Share bank statements and other financial documents
  • Discuss how your parents handle money
  • Discuss career and educational goals

3. family

The family discussion can include both the families you each grew up with as well as expectations for building a family as a couple. Discussing each other’s backgrounds can help develop a lot of trust in one another and can bring a deep understanding as to why we behave the way we do within our relationships. Our upbringing has a significant influence on the standards we have and the concept we have of what our family should look like.

Here are tips on beginning this discussion:

  • Ask what age they would like to be married/start considering marriage
  • Ask how many kids they would like to have and what age they would like to begin having children
  • Ask what their childhood was like

4. Spirituality

Our spirituality has a significant effect on marital intimacy and our own well-being. Spiritual intimacy does not necessarily mean that you must share beliefs with your partner, it is more about revealing your spirituality and showing support for one another. In a relationship, it is important to have spiritual intimacy with your partner to help understand their beliefs, values, and perception of life.

Here are some tips on helping spiritual intimacy:

  • Discuss blessings and inspiration that you witnessed
  • Have self-reflections
  • Identify the primary intention of the relationship
  • Design a spiritual practice with a routine
  • Create time for regular intimacy

5. Aspirations

Knowing your partner’s aspirations and goals allows you to be aware of their wants, needs, desires, and values, as well as understand them on a deeper and more intimate level. This is also a good way to ensure you and your partner are on the same page and headed in a healthy direction.

Here are some tips on learning your partner’s aspirations:

  • Develop and share daily goals with one another
  • Listen to their interests, including work and hobbies
  • Express sincere interest
  • Be sensitive towards your partner’s concerns
  • Recall positive experiences together
Hi! My name is Brynna and I am a Grand Canyon University Online Communications student. I currently reside in Washington state with my wonderful husband, dog Barkley and two kittens, Felix & Ajax. I am incredibly thankful to be apart of Her Campus where I have the opportunity to share my unique perspective on Christianity, relationships, and lifestyle. You can follow me on instagram @brynnacampbell_