Have you ever caught yourself falling down the social media rabbit hole? It happens to the best of us, one minute you’re saying “just a little bit longer” as you open Instagram and before you realize it you have scrolled three hours of your life away. And I don’t know how you feel after binging on social media, but most of the time, I feel like I just spent three hours comparing myself to others and ultimately feeling like less than enough.
The whole time I am being smacked in the face with beautiful vacations, swimsuit bodies galore, fairytale love lives, perfect study setups, and gourmet meals meanwhile I’m usually in pajamas and bare faced when I catch a glimpse of my reflection at a less than flattering angle. And sadly, maybe not even consciously, I think to myself “why is your life like this and everyone else’s life so perfect?”. As much as I have been in this exact situation, I also know how to remind myself that social media is not a fair way to compare my life and someone else’s.
I can assure you that the model who posted a bikini picture knows exactly how to pose to draw attention away from the areas she doesn’t like about herself, while you’re standing hunched over looking at the rolls on your tummy in your poorly lit bedroom mirror. The problem really is that you’re looking at other people’s lives through beautiful rose colored glasses. Through these lenses, you see the beauty in other people, how wonderful and exciting their life is, yet for some reason you take these glasses off every time you look at yourself. Why? Why can’t we treat our lives the way we treat other people’s? It’s because we haven’t trained ourselves to be able to look at anything other than our own shortcomings.
The key to falling in love with your own life is to romanticize it.
What exactly is romanticism?
Romanticizing is describing something in an idealized fashion or making it appear better than it really is. Some great examples of romanticism in social media, are those video montages that you see on Youtube or in your Twitter feed. Those videos of people dancing, laughing, or exploring, set to a song that makes your heart feel full. In this moment you look at someone’s life and you think to yourself, “man it would be nice to live a life like that”. I’m going to let you in on a little secret… shhhh… come a little closer… YOU DO! Your life is just as beautiful and complex as anyone else’s the only difference is, they know how to look at their own life through rose colored glasses and you don’t.
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So how can you romanticize your life?
I have some tricks that I use to help my brain understand that just because I see every messy detail of my life, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it too. One of the most important things you can do is to practice gratitude. A grateful heart triumphs a hateful heart every time. If you take some time at the end of the day or the week to reflect and be thankful for all the great things that happened, you are training your mind to focus on the positive aspects of your life as opposed to only the negative. Another way I practice idealizing my own life is by using my creativity to enhance even the most mundane things about it.
Ways creativity can impact your view on yourself:
I like to think of my life as a story. In a story, there is character development. If you think of your favorite characters, are they just made up of good attributes or do they have their flaws? Of course they have flaws! Because, that is what makes them a ‘round character’. And a good majority of the time their quirks are what make them lovable. The audience of your life wouldn’t adore you if you were perfect in every way so you shouldn’t wait until you’re perfect to start adoring yourself too. I also enjoy capturing photos or making a video of trips I go on. These always help me to remember the trip and who I experienced it with, fondly. Finally, even though I am the furthest thing from an artist, I like to paint and draw. I love to paint myself, but I can be very critical of my own features so I use this as an opportunity to show my self some love and paint all of my details with pride.
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There are so many ways to fall in love with your own life and I encourage you to figure out what that is for you. Take notice of the things that make you feel full of light and love and do those things! Finding what brings you joy will make it so much easier to put on your rose colored glasses, keep them on and fall in love with your own life.