Whether one realizes it or not, perfectionism is a pervasive problem of the society we live in and the world at large for that matter. From social media to academia it is affecting anything between the aesthetic Instagram feeds we scroll through on a daily basis to achieving the ‘perfect’ grade point averages in school. Where did this so-called obsession with being perfect come from? And how do you pursue excellence instead? The first step is understanding the epidemiology of this current social epidemic. From a personality standpoint, one could essentially be more susceptible to perfectionism because of their prominent neurotic and conscientious traits. However, the rise of perfection looks quite different from a psychosocial perspective. Social science argues that we as humans are culturally conditioned to measure our value and worth, numerically. Statistically speaking, the Pew Research Center estimates from pre-kindergarten to the 12th grade, the average American student would have taken at least 112 standardized tests in their academic career. It is not surprising that there has been a prolific increase in testing anxiety, GPA-induced depression, and perfectionist tendencies among students. From the time we were young, we were unintentionally and classically conditioned to equate our value in numbers. A few examples include first, second, and third placements, pizza parties rewarding test score averages, and getting colorful stickers on perfect science quiz scores that unconsciously validate our academic insecurity. Thus, it is imperative to distinguish the difference between celebrating excellence and propagating perfection. Not only were we taught by the education system to measure our worth as a student in the scores we receive and percentiles we rank in, but we were also taught this by the plethora of social media platforms that are at our fingertips. Considering the likes, followers, views, retweets, comments etc. it can be impossible at times to not seek validation from numerical values such as those. This is because social media does a great job psychologically reinforcing the notion that perfection must be attained to be loved, to be successful and influential, and to be good enough. The peculiar part of perfectionism is that it continues to be glorified by our culture despite its deleterious impact on mental health. Intrinsically we as humans have an urge to flaunt the fact that we are perfectionists, not unlike a peacock fanning its feathers in hopes to get recognition from other peacocks. So how do you realistically stop this perfectionist cycle from continuing? The answer lies within motivated behavior. Do you find fear of failure to be motivating your academic achievement? Or are you more motivated by expanding your knowledge and growing in the process? If you answered yes to the latter, you are on the right track of a healthy pursuit of excellence. However, if you often find your self-esteem contingent upon exam scores or grade point average, you may be seeking perfection. The good news is that perfectionism can be less destructive by simply rewiring our thoughts and challenging the emotional desires to be perfect. Here are some ways to do so:
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Instead of being crippled by fear of failure, affirm yourself that your performance and worth as a human are two separate things.
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Adopt a realistic idea of failure, because it is inevitable. Acknowledge that failure can be disappointing but understand it can also be an opportunity to grow.
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Instead of feeling the urge to earn your self-esteem to be noticed or approved by external stimuli, validate your victories and your failures.
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Remember that perfection does not exist.
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